Being Sarah ~ The Easter Message


ascendIf you have been following “My Akashic Journey” by Jen Freer at FreerSpirit.com, then you are aware that, in Chapter Six, I revealed a secret I had kept for over six years about myself in the category of “knowing who I am,” or, who I HAVE been, rather.

I held this secret for so many years because I knew that no one would believe me, and I feared I would be ridiculed, or worse, locked up in a padded cell. So, anyway, you can read all about that in Chapter Six if you wish to come to a better understanding of how it all unfolded for me.

Growing up, I was always skeptical of what people tried to tell me about God and Jesus. I will talk about this more in Chapter Seven, which I have yet to write. But, it always surprised me, having never attended church other than a handful of times my grandmother dragged me to hers between the ages of three and five (she died when I was six) that I was so clear about the things Jesus had truly said and done, and how quick I was to set everyone straight on that. For example, a Sunday school teacher told us that “Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the light, and the only way to God is through me.” My four-year old adamant response: “No he DIDn’t.”

I had a lot of opinions like that about Jesus at a very young age. The only reason that made any sense as to why is what I learned many years later, in 2006, while watching DaVinci Code, when a group of friendly-beings energy filled the room and told me that yes, Jesus had a wife named Mary Magdalene and that, yes, they had a baby named Sarah and that I had been that baby/child/woman – the daughter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Although I immediately felt in my heart this was true, and I had known it in my heart for a very long time, my lower-self ego was like “Shut the front door!” I was not having it. But, since then, I have learned to accept it, and even decided to share what my higher self, who was also the higher self of Sarah, knows about that life and Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

So, without any further adieux, here is Sarah’s first message, just in time for Easter.

Message from Sarah.

Greetings, seekers.

My light-being name is Peunice. I am of Pleiadian origin, and I am an ascended master of light. I currently work with The Pleiadian Ring of 500, a group of 250 twin-flame soul mates who gathered together to contribute to and make an impact on Earth’s ascension and to assist others in the process of ascension. Our most famous pair of twin-flame soul mates who belong to our ring are the icon you know as Jesus and the one you may or may not know to have been his wife, Mary Magdalene.

One of my first physical incarnations on Earth was the embodiment of the baby girl born to Jesus and Mary Magdalene who they named Sarah. Now you can think of me as Sarah, if you wish, but do know that Sarah is just one of many physical beings I have embodied. Remember, I was an ascended master Pleiadian light-being named Peunice long before I was ever Sarah. Currently, I am incarnate as the being known as Jen Freer, author of FreerSpirit.com. Not to confuse anyone, but I do prefer to go by the name Scarborough as Peunice just sounds a bit on the silly side to me. I adopted the name Scarborough after living in one of my favorite cities of all incarnations: Scarborough, U.K., back in the linear time of the 1500s.

That being said, I would like to share information with you about my incarnation as Sarah, and I would like to clear up a lot of disinformation that you have been living under if you are, or have been, involved in any “Christian” religion. What I have to tell you is most likely going to upset you, and it may even anger you if you are completely steeped in the belief system that was created to control you. I only tell you this truth in order to free you from a system that is a paradox of what it claims to be. I would like to make this very brief and keep it as simple as possible. What you need to know is that I was there. I was the daughter of the one most know as Jesus Christ (or Yeshua, or whatever other name you may call him). Most know him as Jesus, so I will just stick to the most popular name.

Here is the first thing you need to know: I grew up knowing my father as a physical human being. Yes. That means that he DID NOT die on a cross. He WAS NOT crucified. And he WAS NEVER nailed to a cross. He DID NOT die for your sins. In fact, there is NO SUCH THING as “sin.”

All of these things… the crucifixion, (or, as I like to spell it: cruciFICTION) the resurrection, and SIN are all things made up by a group of people who have controlled the masses for over 2000 years with this nonsense. These people took my father’s teachings and created their own judgment system out of them. They did everything the opposite of what he taught and placed him at the head of their “church” and told the people they felt were beneath them that THEY should not judge one another… and then they made up a list of “sins” for which the people had to pay actual money until that was replaced with “hail Marys” and “Our fathers.”

I am sorry if this spoils your Easter weekend, but it shouldn’t. It should actually be cause for celebration. For my father DID incarnate as Jesus Christ and he DID teach everyone that we are all one, so we should focus on loving everyone and not judging one another. He also taught that “God” is in everything. God energy is in every atom and every particle that makes up everything in the entire Universe. So, yes, it is within you and me, and even “the bad guys.” It is in the earth and the water and the air and fire and spirit and even in the unseen. God energy is everywhere. And it is FREE. You don’t have to attend a church or tithe your own God energy (money) in exchange to be closer to or experience God. God is already IN you. YOU are a fractal of God. This is what makes you capable of loving unconditionally. Yes. That power IS within you. And, if you are going to rejoice ANYthing this Easter weekend, rejoice in THAT. Rejoice in the fact that YOU can rise. YOU can ascend into the higher realms of unconditional love. THIS is what is meant by being “saved” or “reborn.”

Religion doesn’t save you. Jesus doesn’t save you. YOU save you. With your OWN God essence. Your OWN “Christ consciousness.” You have it. It is inside your eternal heart. Your soul. Your light body. The only place you have to “go” to access it is within… into your heart chakra.

My father’s message was SO simple, but yet it has taken humanity over 2000 years and counting to “get it.” Of course, he did not know that a controlling cult would take his teachings and twist them into a way for them to manipulate, control and steal from the masses. This is his biggest disappointment.

One last thing he wants you to know: the empty cross is closer to the truth. Protestants use the empty cross to celebrate the ascension of Christ. Yes, Jesus ascended. He ascended when he passed away, peacefully, of natural causes, a happy old man, husband and father. He has ascended numerous times, in other lives. Just as we ALL have. We are ALL ascended masters, believe it or not. And we, too, will RISE again. Rejoice in THAT. Rejoice in YOURSELF. Rejoice in your own godliness and Christ consciousness. You have it. So celebrate it!

And yes, Jesus DOES love you. Whether you are black or white, (or any other “color”) gay or straight, (or somewhere in between) human or some other species… and yes, even if you have been naughty. Remember, there is no such thing as “sin.” It is all just experience. And that is what we all came to Earth School to do – experience. EVERYthing. We have all taken turns being the controllers and the controlled. The bullies and the victims. The heroes and the villains. And what most of us have discovered is that we prefer the light to the dark. We’d rather be the “good guys.” It feels better to love – and be loved – than to hate or be hated. We have learned. From experience. Thank God, right? No… thank YOURSELVES. For YOU are the bravest of the brave to have endured the tumultuousness of Earth School. And now it is time for all of us to rise.

Rise above the controlling systems and governances.

Rise above the petty disagreements and grudges.

Rise above, into love.

Rise above, into freedom.

Planet Earth is here for all to enjoy. At no cost. She does not need anyone to fight for her. She just needs all of her inhabitants to love her, cherish her, and give back to her. Once we free ourselves from these controlling systems, we will understand that no one owns any piece of Mother Earth. No one can divide her up with boundaries. She is here for ALL of us to enjoy, explore, and adore with NO boundaries, for in the highest order of love, there are no boundaries, and all are free.

Copyright 2013 Jen Freer, FreerSpirit.com. Permission to share far and wide is granted.

My Akashic Journey – Chapter Six – The Unexpected One


love vibrationsNot to be pious or anything, but I’m going to open this chapter with a quote. No, it’s not a Biblical quote, but as informal as my work has been up until now, this might feel a little… awkward. It came across my screen while I was pondering exactly how I was going to lay this out for you all, (and worrying about the ramifications) and it just felt like it was a bit of encouragement. So here it is…

“One of the most important of life´s lessons is to learn independence, to understand freedom. This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations. Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship, a relationship that nourishes your soul. It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.” ~ Brian L. Weiss

Breaking this down, the very first thing that stuck out as a message for me personally is the bit that says:

“This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations.”

The first person I shared my 2006 DaVinci Code experience with was Ariel DeAngelis. I shared it with her on January 10th, 2013. Seven years later. Yes, for seven years I kept a secret about myself. I know that is hard to believe. Probably because it is still hard for me to believe, even thought I KNOW it to be true. This is a perfect example of the mind/ego ruling the heart and denying truth. We do this all the time, don’t we?

I can tell you right now why I never told a soul. Because NO ONE would believe me. Ever. And I figured if I told anyone, I’d find myself locked up in a padded cell for life. No need to sacrifice my “freedom” for truth. But this quote here reminded me that freedom is independence from results and opinions.

Now part of me is still wondering why it is even necessary to divulge this information. In service to self, it is small. There is nothing to gain from it personally. In service to others, it is huge. If only I could prove it, this information would free a LOT of people from the deception the church has held over them for the past 2013 years. (I don’t know why I was just prompted to write 2016, but I corrected it to 2013. I’m sure there is a reason.) If they wanted a reason to NOT believe anymore, that is. And that is where the rest of this quote really becomes powerful in persuading me to tell my truth…

“Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship, a relationship that nourishes your soul. It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.”

This has SO MANY meanings, without a doubt. It is completely open for interpretation. But, because it rolled out in front of me on the screen of my laptop WHILE I was contemplating how… and why I should come out with this information, this is how I interpreted this particular message for myself…

So many people are attached to their religion. To the doctrine and the rhetoric of their religion. SO MANY people believe that Christ died for their sins. And that he resurrected. These people had a FIT when DaVinci Code came out and suggested that Christ was (ermagerd!!!) MARRIED and that his WIFE Mary Magdalene had a baby girl named Sarah. (Blasphemous!!!)

Is it, though? We can all agree that Jesus was born into Jewish culture, correct? And, in Jewish culture, it is pretty common for a man to have a wife (and sexual intercourse) and child, correct?

I’m not so sure why it is so unfathomable to some Christians that Jesus Christ possibly had sex with a woman he was married to and produced offspring, but it is perfectly okay to believe that he ran around in a robe and sandals with a bunch of dudes who professed their love for him, healed a blind man, walked on water and turned water into wine. Seriously???

Okay, it’s 2013… can we be a tiny bit realistic about this for once? Does having a wife really make Jesus less magical? Does it make him less likely to have been such a great teacher or prophet? What if he never really walked on water? Or turned water into wine? Or, how about this… what if he never resurrected? What if… he never even died on that cross? Does that negate the lessons he tried to teach us wayyyyy back then?

Isn’t it the message that’s important? That we’re ALL ONE? That we should love our neighbor and not judge others?

Ohh… THAT was the message?

You see, so many people are ATTACHED to the MAGIC and the GLORY. Especially the bit about him coming back to life for three days before ascending. Hmm. Really?

I was sort of digging the message much more. But, then again, most people remember Ozzy Osbourne more for biting the head off of a bat on stage than the lyrics to his music. Did he have anything profound to say? You see, I just don’t know, because the bat-beheading-with-teeth bit just turned me off so much I never bothered to listen. Now the guy is pretty much impossible to understand, anyway, so it just seems pointless to pay him any attention. And that’s probably not fair, given that it is an attachment opinion that I have to Ozzy, who I’m sure must be a decent guy if he could hook a woman as wonderful as Sharon. Just sayin’. Plus he has millions of fans who adore him. (In all fairness, the bat was thrown onstage by a fan who insisted it was dead. Ozzy thought it was a rubber bat, but when he bit it, the bat bit back, and Ozzy had to be treated for rabies. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzy_Osbourne.)

So where am I going with all of this? Well, it has a bit to do with service to others, although I don’t really know exactly how reliable my information can possibly be given that I am currently incarnate as a simple spiritualist with absolutely zero credibility in the religious and even spiritualist sector. I read Akashic Records for people. Sometimes I am dead-on accurate. Other times… maybe not so much. I humbly channel the wisdom of a Pleiadian being who calls himself Peter on occasion. Although I have been told by my Akashic Records that my purpose in this life is to reunite with my twin-flame soul mate and become post 2012 healers through “the vision plus the word,” and that the work I will be most known for is “Unity Consciousness,” I still have no real concept for what it all means. I can’t even successfully reunite with my twin-flame soul mate, so… obviously there is still a LOT of work to be done. And I don’t even know where to begin. It feels like it is all out of my hands. Everything is. I have no job. No income, other than unemployment benefits which are due to decrease soon and eventually run out. I can’t pay my mortgage this month. I know I can OPPT in to OPPT out of that, but it still feels like a bit of a tightrope walk. I keep saying out loud several times a day, “I don’t know what to do.”

All this time on my hands with nowhere to go and hardly anyone to talk to has forced me to remember who I am. To rewind and replay all the memories that led up to the DaVinci Code moment in 2006 that may help some people detach from the deceptive power and control the “church” has had over them all their lives. (And I say “lives” meaning more than ONE, although I know many Christians do not believe in reincarnation. Most believe they live only once and then go to either Heaven or Hell based on how well they allowed the church to control them and shake out every loose bit of change they had tucked away before they died.)

I feel like the little drummer boy. With no gift fit for a king, all he could offer was the beat of his drum to honor the baby Jesus. Well, to honor Jesus, the man and the teacher, and all of his TRUE followers who offer love and compassion and service to others WITHOUT tithing to ANY church, I offer my truth.

Notice I did not say STORY. Because STORY would imply FICTION. This is NOT fiction. This is the truth. And I offer it without any attachment to results or the opinions of others. I do this out of love. Love for the man and teacher who tried to tell us so many years ago that God/Source is not found in a church… that God is everywhere, in everything: “I am the light that shines over all things. I am everything. From me all came forth, and to me all return. Split a piece of wood, and I am there. Lift a stone, and you will find me there.” (Lost Gospel of Thomas.) And I do this out of love for myself, so that I can be free and independent from attachment. For it is true that love is not attachment. Love is a vibration. And the only way we can raise our vibrations is to free ourselves by sharing our truth and love through service to others. I tell this truth so that you, too, can be free from all of the deception and power and control of the very religions that took the teachings of Jesus Christ and twisted them into a reversal that had you believing the opposite of what he taught in order to gain profit for themselves and their cults.

Rewind.

November 2006. DaVinci Code had just been released on DVD. At the time, I was living with my life partner of six years, a United Church of Christ pastor who had taught me more about religion, the Bible and Christianity than I ever cared to know.

I grew up unchurched. No one taught me anything about God or Jesus. I started reading Genesis in our family Bible at the age of eight. After reading three different creation stories I told my mom, “This book is too contradictory! I’m done reading this crap!”

Why I even picked it up to read it is beyond me. Maybe it was because a long-haired bearded man kept appearing to me when I was exploring the woods alone. I never told anyone about him because he was kind of huge and floated up near the tree tops and no one would believe me.

Anyway… DaVinci Code. Yeah. The book had caused a major uproar all across the country. My life-partner hosted a book study on it at our church, but those things always turned out to be a bunch of drama if I attended because I had some very stiff opinions about “The Bible” that I was not afraid to voice, and I always ended up getting lambasted for my “comments.” So, needless to say, I declined the invitation to attend. I also refused to read the book. We had already watched every docudrama produced about it. I really didn’t need to waste time reading it. So, when the life-partner brought home the DVD and asked if I would watch it with her I yawned and said “sure.” I could always accidentally fall asleep.

Surprisingly, that didn’t happen. Even more surprisingly, as the story came to a close at the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, I felt the presence of an enormous energy in the room. My own “keepers” had entered my space with a message delivered by a warm, gentle man’s voice who told me “Yes, Jesus really did have a wife named Mary Magdalene, and yes, they really had a baby named Sarah. And YOU were that baby, Jennifer.”

But, before he even said it, I already knew it. And, as quickly as I knew it, I shoved it all away and denied it. “That’s a bunch of shit,” I found myself telepathically telling this huge, loving energy that had entered my living room.

And I never thought about it again. Until 2008, when I watched the movie with my friend Alex. Again, I got the same feeling, although the energy present was nowhere near as enormous. It was just a “friendly reminder” presence. To which I just simply said, “No!”

Fast Forward.

I never thought about it again until January 10, 2013 when it popped up out of the blue as a possible topic to take up telepathically with Ariel DeAngelis. But I didn’t. Instead, I wrote to her about it. And, like I said before, she is the first person I ever told. Her response to me was:

“Well, Sarah 😉 (in case you hadn’t guessed I’m getting a VERY strong affirmative on that one too!!)”

After reading this, I felt as if my heart had leaped right out of my chest, I was so overjoyed with the affirmation. I felt a tremendous upsurge of energy that felt like I could almost fly. And then there was this enormous presence in the room. I mean, huger than huge. The largest, warmest, most loving presence I have ever felt in my entire life. My dogs began stirring and whining to go outside, so I got up from the couch and walked through the dark kitchen. The overhead lights and countertop outlets had mysteriously stopped working and had been dead for at least two weeks. My tenant John and I had checked all the breakers and reset every single one – three times – in effort to restore power, but to no avail. As I was walking through, I flipped the overhead switch out of habit, AND… the lights mysteriously came ON for the first time in two weeks. I was startled at first, and then elated. And then it came… as predictable and cliché as ever… the familiar male voice from my childhood woods stomping grounds… “Let there be light!” and then a warm chuckle.

I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. What else can you do in a moment like this? Okay, maybe I cried, too. A little. His energy was like nothing I have ever felt before in my life. It’s indescribable. It’s like being swaddled in the warmest, softest blanket imaginable and gently and lovingly rocked into your deepest relaxed state before sleep. Not that you’d want to sleep, of course, because his energy is just too cheerful and charming to snooze through.

We had a nice father/daughter chat. I asked him many, many questions. One of my most favorite things about him is his sense of humor. Yes. Jesus has an amazing sense of humor! I bet you didn’t know that. I bet you never even DREAMED that. Neither did I. Of course, I am sure that with me he feels he can be far more candid than he can with someone like John Smallman. Which was one of my questions.

“Are you really talking to Smallman?”

“Yes, dear. I am.”

Good. So there you go. Naysayers begone.

One of my favorite things that he said to me was, “So… how did you like me when I was John Lennon?”

I KNEW IT!!!

My other favorite was when I asked, “Soo… should I call you dad?”

“Nah. Too stuffy. How about Jesus Daddy-O? Far more hip, dontcha think?”

So Jesus Daddy-O it is. But that is just between me and him. I really probably shouldn’t be sharing this, but… after 2013 (16?) years… it’s about time you knew that he DOES have a lighter side.

Now, unless instructed, I am NOT going to start channeling Jesus. That is John Smallman’s gig. I am also not going to answer questions about Jesus. Or ask him questions for you. This is not why I am sharing any of this with you. I am sharing this simply to allow people to free themselves from the deception of the church.

I asked him if he died on the cross. He said no, he did not. I asked him if he was ever ON a cross. Again, NO, he was never nailed to a cross. He was exiled and moved with Mary Magdalene and a number of others (disciples – more than just the 12) to France where he lived another 30 years and died in his late 60s of natural causes. This is as detailed as I am going to get with this. That is all I feel (at this time) anyone needs to know.

I just asked him if there is anything he wants to say to the people in his own words in this chapter. He said no. I asked him if he wants people to be free from the church. He said yes. And I do believe that is the only message I am here to carry out, other than whatever it is I am supposed to do in the future with my post-2012 healing work with my twin-flame soul mate and Unity Consciousness. When I figure it out, hopefully with the help of my higher guidance, I will let you all know.

Until then, I wish all of you joy, love, freedom and independence from attachment!

As promised, here is my Akashic Reading on this subject:

In 2006, while watching the movie DaVinci Code, I felt a presence of several friendly beings fill the room. I was told that it is true that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and had a baby named Sarah and that I (my higher self) was that baby. What can you tell me about this?

Welcome, brave soul. We applaud and admire your courage. We thought this day would never come, but we are very happy that it has. Yes, it is true that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and that your higher self (soul/light being) incarnated as their daughter, Sarah. You grew up in France, surrounded by very highly spiritual people under very loving influences. It was a happy life, although very sheltered. Jesus had been exiled for his teachings, and there were some who truly did want to kill him. So you lived a very quiet life in France. As you grew older, Luke, your twin-flame soul mate (yes, the one in the Bible who wrote the letters to Paul) made you his wife, and you had two children. The history books tell many different tales about Luke, and, as you can research for yourself, the details are all over the map. He was an artist and a disciple (follower) and apostle (teacher) of Jesus, even though history writes him as an apostle of Paul. It’s all far more simple than “history” makes it out to be, you see. Yes, you had a sort of commune-type living in France, but for good reason. It was more about lying low for survival’s sake, but it was pleasant and serene.

I feel part of my purpose in this life is to share this truth – that Jesus and Mary Magdalene WERE married and did have a child and that Jesus was never crucified on the cross. I know this will cause me a great deal of trouble and more grief than I have already experienced, but I feel it is important to share this truth to help free those who have been taken advantage of by the church for so many centuries. I don’t wish to cause trouble. Only to help heal. How can I do this with the least amount of harm and harassment to myself?

You’re doing it. You’ve written your truth. Now you publish it, and you move on. The next big thing is around the corner. (Word count at the end of this sentence: 3,333.)

My Akashic Journey – Chapter Five – Kicking and Screaming


Image

A Reunion Broken.

So last summer my dream came true; I reunited with my twin-flame (sacred-union) soul mate. We enjoyed a blissful few months together. She proposed to me on the beach in front of a circle of our closest Pleiadian friends currently incarnate with us from the Pleiadian Ring of 500 the night before my birthday. What I thought was a birthday cake was actually a proposal. Written on the cake in orange (my favorite color) lettering was the question: “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes. We had a beautiful evening with music, fireworks, dancing and late-night dipping in Lake Michigan. It was the best night of my life, to be with the one I love with all of my heart and soul and all of our closest, dearest friends and Pleiadian family members. It was also the best birthday of my life, as she agreed to move in with me. We had a wonderful two months of bliss, but then, of course, fear set in and my twin-flame ran again.

My Akashic Records and other sources say that we will reunite again one day. I trust this is true because no matter how hard I try to move on without her, nothing works. Even if I want it to. I met someone recently I was pretty excited to spend the rest of my life with, but, no sooner than I got my hopes up, I received a barrage of text messages from HER fiancé. Yeah. Nice.

Doom and Gloom.

I see that I am doomed to sit in misery while I continue to WAIT, stalled out in this ridiculous holding pattern because someone is too scared to be happy. Some days, I honestly would rather slit my throat to end this nightmare. I never really even wanted to be here in the first place. I’m sure this is true because I constantly have this feeling that I was dragged into this life. Or pushed. Or coerced. That is just how it feels. NOTHING is ever enjoyable for me. Even when I am happy, it can only be for a few minutes at a time because someone is ALWAYS fucking it up for me. Yeah, I said it! The F-word. Come on, you know this would not be a true heart-felt chapter of my journey without it!

So, I could go on and on here and tell you how it’s all bullshit – this theory or philosophy that “love heals everything” and that twin flames or sacred-union soul mates don’t ever really reunite in harmonious bliss (that we’re just here to push each other’s buttons and make each other LEARN, LEARN, LEARN all the difficult lessons in life.) Okay, that’s crap, too. Well, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s true. But what I mean by “that’s crap” is that it is the stupidest fucking shit EVER.

Yeah, it WOULD be nice if we could all just LOVE each other and get along. It WOULD be nice if on December 21, 2012 all of our egos had dove to their deaths like suicidal lemmings so it COULD be possible to truly love without fear or doubt. But that didn’t happen, did it? Nope. Ego’s still here. Alive and kickin’ like a tenacious wild stallion. Annnd it still sucks. Big time.

As you can tell, I am having some major issues that I am wrestling with. And it is more than just losing my twin flame (AGAIN). I also lost my job. Which, at first, I thought was a blessing in disguise because I thought I could finally do Akashic Readings for a living, but, as things continued to get worse with my twin flame and the county kept threatening to take my house from me, I really lost faith. I mean… BAD.

YES, I am depressed. YES, I am a suicidal lemming in search of a nice, tall cliff with lots of jagged rocks and a pounding sea below. NO, I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT THE GOD DAMN LESSON IS IN THIS. FUCK IT!!! FUCK EVERYTHING. Let me GO HOME. NOW!!!!!

Sound familiar? I bet it does. I KNOW it does. I have had PLENTY of talks with people feeling exactly the same way I do. LOTS of people are feeling suicidal, believe it or not. Worthless. Hopeless. And helpless.

But, oddly enough, there is this inner calm in the middle of the storm. All of these thoughts raging, swirling, spiraling, and desperately trying to pull me (us?) downward into the deep, dark abyss of nothingness. But it fails every time because there is this deep inner peace with it all. What IS that? It’s… it’s like… do you remember those turtle floats we had as kids? Those dense expanded foam turtle shells they used to strap around our chests that stayed on our backs to help keep us afloat as we learned to swim? Yeah. It’s like one of those. Right in the center of my chest. And its message is perfectly clear:

Cry and whine all you want. Kick and scream, even. We’re NOT going down.

Faith Restored.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, back in early January of 2013, I sought solace in my friend Ariel DeAngelis, who I consider to be a twin-flame expert. I told her how losing my twin flame again had made me second guess myself. My abilities as an Akashic Reader, actually. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just made the whole thing up? If not, then why did we split again?

I know what most of you are thinking. Why didn’t I just ask my Akashic Records? Well, as I just said, I was afraid I was just plain wrong. That I had made it all up in my head. And that the concept of twin-flame soul mates is just bunk.

Well, of course Ariel had a lot of great answers and even some intuitive information about my twin flame that was pretty dead-on accurate despite the fact that she has never met either of us in person, nor does she know my twin flame at all, not even by a social networking connection. So she made me feel somewhat better with the old, “as twin flame soul mates, we’re always together, even when we’re NOT together.” Yep. Whether we like it or not. And I say that because I am really just tired of the ego bullshit that sends us meandering down the wayward idiot paths only to wind up back where we belong… TOGETHER. Being the higher spiritual (and extremely impatient) half, I honestly don’t see the “need” to be apart. BUT (I admit I DID ask my Akashic Records when she moved out WHY this was happening) the records revealed that my twin flame’s higher self had requested one last separation before oneness so he could better appreciate coming into oneness. I, of course, told him he’s an ass, and he had just better hurry up with that nonsense. (We really do make a phenomenal pair… WHEN we’re TOGETHER.)

Love is patient. Love is kind. What a bunch of bullshit! Get your scaredy-cat ass on this train. NOW!!!

Okay, you all get my drift. I’m SUPER impatient. EXTREMELY. Not to mention that I am just completely BORED with fear and its ill-effects on society in general and as a whole. Fear is stupid. It makes you think stupid things that manifest into crazy shit far worse than the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Did we seriously NOT learn ANYTHING from Ghostbusters? And why can we still not comprehend that worrying is like praying for what we DON’T want? CRIMINY!!!

Okay, done ranting. For a minute. Long enough to tell you what a genius Ariel DeAngelis truly is. When I thanked her for her comforting perspective, she told me to feel free to contact her any time. Even “the other way,” if I wished. I said that would be interesting, for certain. So she said, “let’s try it!” So we ran an experiment. I said I would telepathically contact her sometime that afternoon, but would not tell her what time, exactly. I would have a mental conversation with her, and then, later that evening, I would contact her and ask her what we talked about. She agreed to my terms and conditions.

Not to get all Mark Twain or anything, but I must digress for a moment, because this is what I do. Try to follow. I bundled up the Chihuahuas and took them for a nice, long, 90-minute power walk down to the golf course, around the 13th hole and back. It was on the way back that a random memory from 2006 popped into my head. Yes. 2006. I know. Just follow. It’s really significant to My Akashic Journey – Chapter Six – The Unexpected One. But it all started here. In this moment. On this walk before my telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis. I don’t know WHY it came to me at that very moment that I was power walking the very steep winding hill on my way home, but it occurred to me that I needed to ask Ariel about the super weird thing that happened to me while watching DaVinci Code. I had not even thought about it since 2008 when I saw DaVinci Code the second time. But there it was, popping into my head, random as an ADHD Gen Y comedian. Stay tuned.

So when I got home, I sat on my exercise ball and began stretching. It was about 1:30ish. While stretching, I contacted Peter. You know, the Pleaidian being I sometimes channel. I said, “Hey, Peter, I am supposed to have a telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis this afternoon. Let’s surprise her with a three-way call!”

Of course Peter was all for that! So we patched Ariel in and had a little conference call that was pretty lighthearted and full of laughter. After Peter “hung up,” Ariel and I continued our conversation with a topic she told me to ask her about. I won’t get into the details here, as that is all private and whatnot, but I will say that the details were… very detailed. And no, it wasn’t about Arch Angel Michael.

While we were talking, I got up to make lunch, so there were a couple of lulls in the conversation as I concentrated on cooking instructions and timing and whatnot. Yeah, I’m lame. I read the directions and follow them. Anyway, what I found interesting is that when our conversation was over and my lunch was finished, I wrote to Ariel and said, “Okay. What did we talk about?” she had the time of the conversation (between 1:30 and 2:00 PM EST) accurate as well as the two lulls in conversation I just described. Although she did not recall talking with Peter, she did remember the gusto with which our conversation began, and she also told me our three different topics exactly. Then she asked me, “Okay, so what did YOU hear ME say?”

I wrote her back with the very detailed details and she. was. FLOORED.

“Wow,” she told me. “You are the REAL DEAL.”

Of course, she never had a doubt.

And then she said, “If I don’t doubt you, then why do YOU doubt you?”

That was a very good question, indeed.

And that brought me the courage to share with her that memory I mentioned from 2006. Something I refused to accept about myself that I knew in my heart was true for a very long time. It was a knowing I believe I was born with, but never, EVER shared with anyone. It was the kind of knowing that is so certain that when this bit of craziness was sprung upon me in 2006 while watching DaVinci Code, I was not even surprised by it. But there was no way in hell I was going to accept it. Or admit it, for that matter. Stay tuned. I am about to open my Akashic Records and ask about it. ALL of it. And I guarantee you that the information I receive will knot up a bunch of Christian panties into an excruciatingly uncomfortable wad. Not that it’s my intention to do so. Like I said… I never wanted to know this information, let alone share it. Primarily because I know I will be attacked, damned to hell and shamed for it. But I figure, hey, my life already sucks. I might as well tell the truth since that is what I came here to do. Kicking and screaming.

My Akashic Journey – Chapter Four – One Powerful Connection


How do you know you have a very powerful twin-flame connection in a dualistic universe? When others are constantly getting in the way and making low-down dirty attempts to keep you apart.

Playing with fire.

When people will say anything and do anything — cross ethical and spiritual boundaries, even — to make sure you and your twin flame will never, ever reunite, you know you have a very powerful connection. One that endures all the adversity. One that laughs in the face of these petty little pawns and rooks who think they can somehow undo the connection or diminish the power with futile schemes and manipulative games.

Word to the wise ass: never, EVER fuck with incarnate twin flames. Or you will, undoubtedly, suffer third-degree burns.

Red-hot spiritual agenda.

Twin flame soul mates don’t incarnate together to have a hot and steamy love affair or the ultimate romantic relationship. They have been together for eons. Yes, they have a very deep, emotional soul connection, but it’s more than just that, even. They’re here with an agenda. A spiritual agenda. One that tests traditions and blasts social boundaries to smithereens. One that challenges humanity to expand their comfort zones and open their hearts.

For my twin flame and me, our agenda has always been to challenge social norms in the relationship department. In other lives, we’ve been interracial couples and same-sex lovers. And yes, we’ve even died for our cause. My twin flame and I have been murdered numerous times for our “forbidden love.” But when one is left incarnate to mourn the loss, we’ve never lost our connection. Through all the pain and turmoil, we are still bound, eternally and faithfully, by an undying, unconditional love. That is our promise to one another as light beings and physical beings. We are attached by silver cords and gold cords that can never be severed. Believe me. I know. I have tried.

Now why would I want to do that, you ask? Well, until I understood these cords could never be cut, I thought I could ceremoniously sever the energetic cords that bound us to stop the deep, constant pain of being separate. A spirit guide then approached and said, “No. Stop trying. It cannot be done.” And that’s when I learned of the silver (past life) and gold (spiritual attainment) cords that bind us as soul mates. And, still later, I learned we’re not just soul mates, but twin-flame soul mates, which is even more powerful.

Scorching synchronicity.

Just how powerful is this connection? Imagine every place you go, you get a synchronistic reminder. Maybe, as your mind wanders over memories of times you spent together while you’re driving somewhere, a song from that exact time (four years ago) suddenly plays on your favorite Top 40 radio station, and a car just like your twin flame’s pulls out in front of you or is driving toward you. It could be as subtle as that. Or it could be way more “in your face.”

For example, when I was dating someone new, who actually knew my twin flame and the make, model and color of the car she drove, we were both a bit freaked out when we walked back to her truck to find the same make, model and color car parked next to hers, TWICE, in two different locations ON THE SAME NIGHT. After that, whenever we were together, we saw at least one car exactly like my twin flame’s either on the road or in parking lots.

I began to notice that any time I was dating someone, even though my twin flame and I had been separated for quite some time, that these type of synchronicities — from songs to similar cars to initials on license plates and logos that reminded me of her — would dramatically increase,  along with dreams of her, telepathic conversations with her, and sometimes even astral body contact. Of course, nobody believes me, but it all happened. Sometimes even with eye witnesses who would then turn to me in disbelief and say, “My god, she still loves you.”

Just a heartbeat away.

I couldn’t deny that SOMEthing was still there. Whether it was love or just energy, I didn’t know. As cool as it was, it also sometimes felt like torture. I finally decided I needed to ask my Akashic Records about it. This is how the session went on Sunday, January 24, 2010:

Where does the energy come from that creates the synchronicities that remind me of my twin flame when I’m dating or with someone else?

The energy comes from her and your connection to her. It is sparked by thought — jealousy, rage, the desire for power and control. When your twin flame thinks of you with someone else, she wants you to remember her. To think ONLY of HER. She sends out thought patterns that create the synchronicities. It’s a form of psychic vampire-ness. When you are with someone else, it is more prevalent because the thoughts of you with someone else are torturing her mind. When you are not with someone, she relaxes and the patterns slow, so it is just telepathy you share.

So she creates these things with her mind alone?

Yes.

What are the things I am seeing and hearing — are they really taking place, or are they holograms?

Holograms? No. These things actually manifest. If they were holograms, your friends would not be able to see them.

How does my twin flame actually have the power to manifest these things into reality?

She is powerful. She will get what she wants. That is not to say she goes about it in the right or appropriate way. She has tons of magic up her sleeve. This is why she gets the women and keeps them attracted to her. She is enjoying the power trip. This is why you need to stay quiet.

Stay quiet with the telepathy, too?

Not necessarily. The telepathy being exchanged is with her higher self. It is better for you to communicate with her this way than in the physical. Keep her ego out of it. She is on an ego trip when she does these things.

Is she aware that she is doing it?

She is aware of what she wishes, but she can’t possibly know the results.

So, if I were not connected to her, then I would probably not experience the synchronicities?

True. Correct. Your connection to her is not one that can be closed or cut off, however. You are connected by silver cords and gold cords that keep your souls connected, always/forever.

What about the astral travel? Is that real?

Between the two of you? Of course. You’re travelers, and this is something the two of you do well together. It is why she equates to Superman — all the flying dreams she has. They are not dreams. They are actually journeys your souls take together when your astral bodies are free from ego. But this is why she identifies with Superman. The flying. The two of you have been doing this together for many, many eons — in and out of physical incarnation. It is what you will do together when you reunite, too. In many aspects, your souls will “fly.”

Why can I not feel her as strongly or see her astral body like I used to?

Her energy has been weakened by stress, prescription pain medications and sleep aids. They’re weighing her down. It will change when you’re back together. Healing will take place and medications will no longer be needed.

How can I believe in the telepathic messages she sends me when she says one thing and shows another?

You are connected to her higher self. The lower self is the one who is doing the opposite of what her higher self is saying to you.

Will they ever merge and be the same person?

Yes, of course. This is what you’re all striving for. It’s in that final lesson she will learn from the spell-caster’s descendent that she will find her higher self. You have no reason to doubt or be disappointed.

How will I ever be able to date or have a relationship with anyone without my twin flame’s energy interfering?

Why would you want to when you love her? When your heart is WITH HER?

Because I’m still not sure WHEN she’ll come around.

She’ll come around soon enough that you don’t need to worry about dating anyone else.

But I’m lonely.

How? She is right there, always a breath away. Just a heartbeat away. You will notice when she’s there with you. You hear a double heartbeat. That is her. Right there with you. There is no reason to doubt. She’s always been there. Even before you knew her or she knew you in this life. You are twin soul mates. It is like you are sharing the same womb.

So it is okay for me to continue assuring her I love her?

Absolutely! That’s what we mean by “holding the light.” She comes to you because she is seeking to be with you.

Even though she’s with someone else?

Yes. We told you. This woman she is with is nothing. Not a threat. Just a pawn. Your twin flame’s lower and higher selves both want you. That is their common bond. Her energy will never leave you. Not even in death. She wants to be with you. She tells you that over and over again. Do us ALL a favor and BELIEVE her. She travels to you every night to be with you — even when she is laying next to that other woman. Her heart is with YOU. Her soul is with YOU. Her BODY is misplaced at the moment, but will soon follow her heart and soul. No worries. When the time is right, she will return.

I have more questions about the synchronicities she manifests into reality. Is she literally thinking, “Make her see a car like mine,” or “Play this song on the radio now?” Is that how it works?

No. Not exactly. She might picture something in her mind, like driving past you. Or she may be thinking of a song that she wants you to hear, or even just thinking of a song that reminds her how she feels about you or the situation, and then it will play for you.

Resistance is futile.

Although part of me wants to chalk all this up to coincidence or “just my imagination,” the simple truth of the matter is that it’s not. All of this is really happening, and still happening, on a very regular basis. As much as I would like to walk away from it all, and just start a brand new life in a new town where no one knows me at all, I know in my heart the efforts would not change anything. This is why I choose to believe…and trust…and continue to have faith that one day we will be together again. Until then, the situation just really sucks. Well, for me anyway. Especially with all the games being played by manipulative souls who haven’t a clue what they’re dealing with. I know my lesson to learn is to not let ego freak out about these games, but, of course, being human in 3D density makes that a bit difficult 99 percent of the time. I suppose the day that I can observe another attempt by a dark soul to keep us apart and not react to it or worry about it will be the day that I graduate — in faith — to the next level. Believe me, I am looking forward to that day.

My Akashic Journey – Chapter Three – Reversing the Curse


Reversing a curse is no small task. And one of this magnitude, that has affected generations of families for over a century and requires what seems like a miracle to lift it…wow. I just don’t even know what to say about it, to be honest. Why I would get involved with something like this is beyond me. All I can say is that my higher self must be one tough, badass bitch who doesn’t back down or take no for an answer. Especially when I just have to sit here and watch it all play out.

In it to win it

Oh, you don’t know how many times I have quit. I’ve screamed. I’ve cursed. I’ve beat myself up. I’ve even hated myself for this. I’ve begged for an early exit. Beam me up. Let me go! I just can’t DO this anymore. It is NOT AT ALL easy. But I know I have to stay here and see it through. I have to somehow hold light. Send light. Forget the pain of it all as I wait…wait…wait…and wait some more. And fucking BELIEVE. Yeah. BELIEVE in her…somehow…some way…I still have to trust and believe. Even though everything I SEE does not jive with what my records say.  It’s gut wrenching. It’s heart wrenching. At times, it’s even faith wrenching.

I’m no Jedi. And even Luke Skywalker had doubts, right? Even after Yoda raised his ship out of the swamp, Skywalker said: “I don’t believe it.”

And Yoda said: “That is why you fail.”

So, yes, I must continue to believe in my twin flame. I must continue to have faith she will follow through. That is my role in this soul contract. Fortunately, with the combined strength of the Akashic Records, supportive lightworker friends, and shifting energies, my role is becoming easier these days.

Once more, with purpose

More and more of my surrounding friends understand that we are here to clean up this planet. Not just the physical damage to mother Earth, but the energetic pollution as well. That is why it is so important for my twin flame and I, with a little bit of help from the spell-caster descendant, to reverse this curse.

If you think of the planet as one huge mansion that needs a cleaning that no one team or crew can handle on their own, then you understand the importance that each individual cleans his or her own room, while we come together to clean the common areas. It’s, like, okay, you vacuum the floors, then I’ll mop, and our friend, here, will dust. Make sense? That’s why we have these soul groups with contracts. We accepted the responsibility to clean our specific wing.

Perhaps we were never connected to the families we chose to help with this particular cleanup, but we volunteered, nonetheless. We didn’t count on it being such a dirty job. And that’s just it. When we’re light beings, we’re all knowing. We’re clear on every role we’ve ever played since we began incarnating on this planet. And we’re born knowing, too. But the density of this 3D world makes us quickly forget. We always think it will be SO EASY. But it never is. And we have to find our way…over and over again.

Stop thinking; start feeling.

Fortunately, we’re all born with an internal compass. Our heart. And I’m not talking about the organ in our chest that pumps blood. I’m talking about our energetic heart chakra. The heart of our soul. Now, if we could just STOP THINKING and rely on our hearts, we would all be on our well-lighted spiritual paths.

And that’s ALL it’s going to take to reverse this curse. At least, that is what my Akashic Records say. Repeatedly. Check it out:

Akashic Record Journal Entry February 10, 2010

What is the final lesson my twin flame needs to learn from the descendant of the spell casters?

The lesson she is to learn is not complex. It is a simple one, indeed. It is her lower self that is making this lesson difficult. Logic is getting in the way of the heart. She is not following her heart. She is afraid to follow her heart.

So the lesson she needs to learn is to follow her heart and not her head?

Exactly.

How can we ever get her to do that?

“WE” cannot. It has to be her own realization. Her own desire. She has to find her own way.

How, though? What needs to happen for her to realize this?

Once again, she will suffer great loss. That is what it takes for people to finally wake up. It takes great loss for people to have a new outlook on life — to appreciate it more — to try to find meaning in it all.

Akashic Record Journal Entry April 7, 2o10

What is my twin flame’s purpose to the descendant of the spell casters?

To provide her with the opportunity to teach your twin flame the lesson she needs to learn to release the Karmic debt for the spell caster family.

What is the lesson she will teach my twin flame?

To follow her heart — back to you.

How will that help release the spell-caster family’s Karmic debt?

The spell-caster family will finally be sending the Freer family LOVE instead of darkness and hate. This act — this sacrifice — releases the curse.

So the spell-caster descendant must have entered this soul contract with us, is that correct?

She did. She agreed to it.

So it is all predetermined?

Yes.

Any of us could opt out at any time, though, correct?

Deal breakers will only cause more pain, trouble, darkness and despair.

What can I do to ensure this all comes through as planned?

Have faith and hold the light for your twin flame. And her girlfriend. Trust that they will follow through. Keep talking to your twin flame. You both have this telepathic gift for a reason.

But only her higher self hears me.

It all downloads eventually. The stronger and more frequent the communication, the faster it will download. Things will all work out. She hears you. She just thinks it’s her imagination right now.

How can I convince her otherwise?

Strong, frequent communication. Send the thoughts. Send the light. Keep talking to her.

What do I tell her?

That you understand why she’s with the spell-caster family’s descendant. That you know it’s all part of the plan. That you trust her. That you love her. That you know she will return when the time is right. She needs this reassurance. She needs to know you believe in her. You can’t be angry at her for this. You have to let go of the anger and the hurt. This is what you all agreed to. Accept it. She’ll be back.

You have work to do together. Remember that. This blissful reunion between you and your twin flame will provide you with the power to be the word + the vision. Never forget that. It is YOUR purpose, once the two of you are together.

More on this word + vision business

Friday, January 22, 2010

Why would my twin flame return to me?

You’re stable. That’s what she needs in a relationship. In a partnership. Stability. You will nurture her. You will help her grow. The spell-caster descendant cannot help her do that. Not spiritually. And this is where we need you — where the Universe needs you — to help your twin flame grow spiritually so the two of you can fulfill your prophecy together.

What is our prophecy?

The spiritual truth. The word + the vision. That is you and her. You are the word. She is the vision.

Okay, but what are we to do, exactly?

Words + Vision = Truth. The Cancer and the Aquarian. She needs you. You are her Mary Magdalene.

[Author’s note: I know, I know. Insert SNORT, here. Eye rolls. I did the same thing. Ugh, puhleeeze! This is what prompted my next sarcastic question…]

And she is Jesus? [Eye rolls]

Something like that.

The Age of Aquarius? The New Age. Is she the Moses/Jesus of the New Age? [Author’s note: I later learned this is also known as the era of “Christ consciousness,” which is for all of us to obtain, not just a select few. It IS a matter of choice, however. And, no, you don’t have to be “Christian” or belong to a “Christian” church to
obtain it.]

You both are. You both will be. Leaders of the New Age.

But we’re such peons.

No. Not even close. Royalty. Light royalty. Remember, Jesus was the son of a carpenter and a carpenter himself. He was a simple man who taught the simple truth. You are the teacher. She is the illustrator. Together, your message will reach MILLIONS. You cannot do this without each other. You NEED each other.

What if she doesn’t believe it?

You’re not the one who will convince her. Remember, we told you, this isn’t your fight. She will come around when she is ready.

Well, she did say years ago that we would make a great team.

As business partners. This is so much more than that. This is global, New Age stuff. This is the ESSENCE of what 2012 is all about.

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

I know people will read this and think, “She’s out of her mind! Call the little white truck.”

That’s okay. Won’t be the first time folks have said this about me. What’s important now is that I’m surrounded by true friends who say, “Makes sense to me! What can I do to help?”

My response: Don’t let me give up.

I came here with a purpose. I remember who I am. I know who my twin flame is. I know what kind of power we possess when we are united. We are magical. And together we can help heal the world. Pray for us to reunite, and we will show you.