Don’t you hate it when all you want is the truth and NO ONE can give it to you?

From February 2007 through January 2010, I was on a god damn mission and hell bent to find answers. Before that, I was just sleepwalking through life, content to have a job, personal transportation, a loving life partner, a roof over our heads, two cute chihuahuas and some enjoyable hobbies. I mean, after all, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?

Well, in February 2007, my mom and best friend in life lost her battle with lung cancer. In her defense, I must say, she never once smoked a cigarette. She hated cigarette smoke, but, in the end, her exposure to secondhand smoke is ultimately what claimed her physical body. At the time, I was not fully tuned into my sixth sense gifts. I knew they were there, but allowed them to lay dormant most of the time. The day of my mother’s death, I held her hand and told her she could visit me anytime. I was not afraid. And I hoped she would visit me in my dreams. Which she did. Early and often. But she also visited me in my fully awakened state, too. Of course, most people don’t believe that, but that’s okay. I know what I have seen, heard and felt, and that is all that matters.

Rediscovering and exploring my gifts

Being in contact with my mother — and, eventually, HER mother, as well — on a daily basis set me into research mode. I read the works of psychic mediums. I played with pendulums and Tarot cards. I tried all kinds of divination tools. I found most of them to be somewhat accurate, but not all that user friendly. Plus, there was that “gypsy” and “witch” stigma attached to them. And I’m so NOT a gypsy. Nor am I a witch. But I was still interested in the “why” and the “how” of these extrasensory gifts.

When I was a child, my mother often described me as “perceptive” and “sensitive” when it came to my empath nature. She knew that I knew things that most ordinary kids didn’t know. I never really told her about the things I saw. Spirits in the woods and shit like that. Somehow I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I told her anyway. In fact, I told no one about any of it. Ever.

Finding and losing my twin flame

Shortly after my mother died, in the spring of 2007, I met someone unlike any other person I’d ever encountered in my life. The first time our eyes met, a blinding light flashed in hers. It was so bright, and so startling, I immediately looked away. And I thought, did that just happen? For real? It seemed so…ScyFy. Fear of the unknown prompted me to avoid her as much as possible the first few weeks that I knew her. It wasn’t easy, since we were playing on the same softball team and running with the same crowd. Not to mention that the attraction was crazy magnetic. Unusual, magical things happened when I was nowhere near her, too, that I just knew and felt were related to my connection with her, although we had not even officially “connected” at this point, if you know what I mean. I never mentioned this stuff to her because, really, how do you explain the unexplainable?

It wasn’t until she first uttered the term “forever love” and I saw this amazing dance of colors in her eyes that I realized that this is what our connection was. An undeniable, undying, unconditional love that had spanned many lifetimes. And, of course, I argued there could not possibly be any such thing. I was 36 years old, after all, and I had already had three long-term relationships. Head took over heart with a literal interpretation. Fear triggered resistance.

Eventually, and inevitably, a romance did blossom, but it was short lived. Despite our separation, I still felt strongly connected. Several months later, we tried to reconnect, but failed miserably. It didn’t make sense. Especially since, even years afterward, I still felt as strongly connected as I did in the summer of 2007. It just wouldn’t die. And no other relationship afterward worked because of it. And still won’t. From almost two years ago, when I first began my Akashic journey, to this very day, which I will note is December 21, 2011. Winter solstice. One year outside the dawn of the new era — Winter Solstice 2012.

Loss, loss and more loss

After these two devastating losses, I truly felt I had nothing more to live for. I had no purpose in life. I’d lost most of my friends, as well. I had tried to express myself in blogs, but that only led to more and more chiding and gossiping among my social circle which left me with nowhere to turn. Except inward. Which, in retrospect, is probably the best thing that could ever happen.

Through deep study, I learned more about past lives, soul groups, soul mates and soul contracts than I could have ever imagined. And then, after a month of reading How to Read the Akashic Records, I decided, after a lot of stops and starts and much struggle and panic and tears, that it was just time to let go of all of this. No matter what I felt, I  just had to accept that whatever the Akashic Records said as my personal truth. Even if it meant giving up on my true love.

My personal truth and purpose

I have pages and pages of handwritten journals full of recorded sessions of my time spent in the Akashic Records. Yes, I could literally write a book. To put it in the simplest terms, I got way more than I bargained for. I learned I was right about some things, and I learned I was wrong about many more.

First and foremost, I learned that I have been right all along about the forever love, twin-flame, sacred-union soul mate thing. And I learned I was wrong about no longer having a purpose once I lost her and my mother. The truth is, I chose to incarnate into this particular life at this particular time with MANY soul contracts.

The first soul contract was made over 700 years ago with a ring of 499 other light beings, Pleiadian in origin, to incarnate into physical beings on planet Earth to help raise the vibrations over a course of many lifetimes and incarnations. My Akashic Records say that I have incarnated 39 times, 37 times as a human being on the planet Earth. My twin-flame soul mate and I have incarnated together all 37 times, in soul contract with one another.

My Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones of my personal records have confirmed this fact through a personal friend of mine. She contacted me the day after I first opened my records and asked if they had anything to do with numbers. When I asked why she posed that question, she told me that when she was napping the day before, her dreams kept being interrupted by a piece of notebook paper on which the message 37 Akashic Record Jen appeared. She said this happened at least five times throughout her dream sequence. When I asked the records what the significance was, they said it was their way of confirming not only that number of lifetimes was true, but that the records, in case I had any doubt, were very, very real.

My soul contract for this life was made with several other light beings, and that was to help two families overcome the negative energy cast onto one by the other. This “curse” has affected one family for several generations. It took me a long time to piece this one together, but, once the records showed me the several “ah ha” moments throughout my lifetime leading up to this truth, it all made sense. The physical family I belong to in this lifetime is the one affected by the “curse.” My twin-flame soul mate is currently involved with a member of the family that cast the dark spell that has not only caused turmoil for the family I chose to help, but has also deeply affected the descendants of the family of the casters even worse.

The spell that was cast specified that all the men in the family I am helping would never, ever be successful in life. It has inflicted generations of depression, physical abuse, alcoholism and personal failure. For the family of the spell casters, it has tortured them with incurable disease, learning disabilities, dyslexia and poverty. The negative energy that stems from both of these families is vast, as everyone they come in contact with is affected by it. This is why my soul group chose to assist this particular “family feud” as their cleanup project. Some of the participants in this cleanup are members of my Pleaidian Ring of 500, while others are not.

In theory, what needs to happen here is for the individual in the spell-caster family to send love to the affected family in order to heal both. The “love” in this case being my twin-flame soul mate. I am told by the records that the higher selves of all parties involved are fully aware of this agreement and that, upon awakening, this gesture will be made, with blessings, by the involved individual who belongs to the spell-caster family. Then, and only then, will the negative energy afflicting these two families be released.

After my twin flame returns, we will join together as post-2012 healers here on Earth through word and vision.

The waiting game

My records have provided many very specific details regarding everyone involved over the past 23 months, all of which have checked out to be accurate. These little nuggets of information are what keep my faith in my twin flame alive. In my heart, I know she will do the right thing. My head, however, is another story. I hope that one day I can report on the happy ending to the first portion of this soul contract. Until then, I wait for first contact from my twin flame.

This, of course, is just one piece of my story. After living 37 lifetimes here on Earth with 499 dedicated Pleiadian family members, there are many, many more. Stay tuned.