My Akashic Journey – Chapter Five – Kicking and Screaming


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A Reunion Broken.

So last summer my dream came true; I reunited with my twin-flame (sacred-union) soul mate. We enjoyed a blissful few months together. She proposed to me on the beach in front of a circle of our closest Pleiadian friends currently incarnate with us from the Pleiadian Ring of 500 the night before my birthday. What I thought was a birthday cake was actually a proposal. Written on the cake in orange (my favorite color) lettering was the question: “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes. We had a beautiful evening with music, fireworks, dancing and late-night dipping in Lake Michigan. It was the best night of my life, to be with the one I love with all of my heart and soul and all of our closest, dearest friends and Pleiadian family members. It was also the best birthday of my life, as she agreed to move in with me. We had a wonderful two months of bliss, but then, of course, fear set in and my twin-flame ran again.

My Akashic Records and other sources say that we will reunite again one day. I trust this is true because no matter how hard I try to move on without her, nothing works. Even if I want it to. I met someone recently I was pretty excited to spend the rest of my life with, but, no sooner than I got my hopes up, I received a barrage of text messages from HER fiancé. Yeah. Nice.

Doom and Gloom.

I see that I am doomed to sit in misery while I continue to WAIT, stalled out in this ridiculous holding pattern because someone is too scared to be happy. Some days, I honestly would rather slit my throat to end this nightmare. I never really even wanted to be here in the first place. I’m sure this is true because I constantly have this feeling that I was dragged into this life. Or pushed. Or coerced. That is just how it feels. NOTHING is ever enjoyable for me. Even when I am happy, it can only be for a few minutes at a time because someone is ALWAYS fucking it up for me. Yeah, I said it! The F-word. Come on, you know this would not be a true heart-felt chapter of my journey without it!

So, I could go on and on here and tell you how it’s all bullshit – this theory or philosophy that “love heals everything” and that twin flames or sacred-union soul mates don’t ever really reunite in harmonious bliss (that we’re just here to push each other’s buttons and make each other LEARN, LEARN, LEARN all the difficult lessons in life.) Okay, that’s crap, too. Well, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s true. But what I mean by “that’s crap” is that it is the stupidest fucking shit EVER.

Yeah, it WOULD be nice if we could all just LOVE each other and get along. It WOULD be nice if on December 21, 2012 all of our egos had dove to their deaths like suicidal lemmings so it COULD be possible to truly love without fear or doubt. But that didn’t happen, did it? Nope. Ego’s still here. Alive and kickin’ like a tenacious wild stallion. Annnd it still sucks. Big time.

As you can tell, I am having some major issues that I am wrestling with. And it is more than just losing my twin flame (AGAIN). I also lost my job. Which, at first, I thought was a blessing in disguise because I thought I could finally do Akashic Readings for a living, but, as things continued to get worse with my twin flame and the county kept threatening to take my house from me, I really lost faith. I mean… BAD.

YES, I am depressed. YES, I am a suicidal lemming in search of a nice, tall cliff with lots of jagged rocks and a pounding sea below. NO, I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT THE GOD DAMN LESSON IS IN THIS. FUCK IT!!! FUCK EVERYTHING. Let me GO HOME. NOW!!!!!

Sound familiar? I bet it does. I KNOW it does. I have had PLENTY of talks with people feeling exactly the same way I do. LOTS of people are feeling suicidal, believe it or not. Worthless. Hopeless. And helpless.

But, oddly enough, there is this inner calm in the middle of the storm. All of these thoughts raging, swirling, spiraling, and desperately trying to pull me (us?) downward into the deep, dark abyss of nothingness. But it fails every time because there is this deep inner peace with it all. What IS that? It’s… it’s like… do you remember those turtle floats we had as kids? Those dense expanded foam turtle shells they used to strap around our chests that stayed on our backs to help keep us afloat as we learned to swim? Yeah. It’s like one of those. Right in the center of my chest. And its message is perfectly clear:

Cry and whine all you want. Kick and scream, even. We’re NOT going down.

Faith Restored.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, back in early January of 2013, I sought solace in my friend Ariel DeAngelis, who I consider to be a twin-flame expert. I told her how losing my twin flame again had made me second guess myself. My abilities as an Akashic Reader, actually. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just made the whole thing up? If not, then why did we split again?

I know what most of you are thinking. Why didn’t I just ask my Akashic Records? Well, as I just said, I was afraid I was just plain wrong. That I had made it all up in my head. And that the concept of twin-flame soul mates is just bunk.

Well, of course Ariel had a lot of great answers and even some intuitive information about my twin flame that was pretty dead-on accurate despite the fact that she has never met either of us in person, nor does she know my twin flame at all, not even by a social networking connection. So she made me feel somewhat better with the old, “as twin flame soul mates, we’re always together, even when we’re NOT together.” Yep. Whether we like it or not. And I say that because I am really just tired of the ego bullshit that sends us meandering down the wayward idiot paths only to wind up back where we belong… TOGETHER. Being the higher spiritual (and extremely impatient) half, I honestly don’t see the “need” to be apart. BUT (I admit I DID ask my Akashic Records when she moved out WHY this was happening) the records revealed that my twin flame’s higher self had requested one last separation before oneness so he could better appreciate coming into oneness. I, of course, told him he’s an ass, and he had just better hurry up with that nonsense. (We really do make a phenomenal pair… WHEN we’re TOGETHER.)

Love is patient. Love is kind. What a bunch of bullshit! Get your scaredy-cat ass on this train. NOW!!!

Okay, you all get my drift. I’m SUPER impatient. EXTREMELY. Not to mention that I am just completely BORED with fear and its ill-effects on society in general and as a whole. Fear is stupid. It makes you think stupid things that manifest into crazy shit far worse than the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Did we seriously NOT learn ANYTHING from Ghostbusters? And why can we still not comprehend that worrying is like praying for what we DON’T want? CRIMINY!!!

Okay, done ranting. For a minute. Long enough to tell you what a genius Ariel DeAngelis truly is. When I thanked her for her comforting perspective, she told me to feel free to contact her any time. Even “the other way,” if I wished. I said that would be interesting, for certain. So she said, “let’s try it!” So we ran an experiment. I said I would telepathically contact her sometime that afternoon, but would not tell her what time, exactly. I would have a mental conversation with her, and then, later that evening, I would contact her and ask her what we talked about. She agreed to my terms and conditions.

Not to get all Mark Twain or anything, but I must digress for a moment, because this is what I do. Try to follow. I bundled up the Chihuahuas and took them for a nice, long, 90-minute power walk down to the golf course, around the 13th hole and back. It was on the way back that a random memory from 2006 popped into my head. Yes. 2006. I know. Just follow. It’s really significant to My Akashic Journey – Chapter Six – The Unexpected One. But it all started here. In this moment. On this walk before my telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis. I don’t know WHY it came to me at that very moment that I was power walking the very steep winding hill on my way home, but it occurred to me that I needed to ask Ariel about the super weird thing that happened to me while watching DaVinci Code. I had not even thought about it since 2008 when I saw DaVinci Code the second time. But there it was, popping into my head, random as an ADHD Gen Y comedian. Stay tuned.

So when I got home, I sat on my exercise ball and began stretching. It was about 1:30ish. While stretching, I contacted Peter. You know, the Pleaidian being I sometimes channel. I said, “Hey, Peter, I am supposed to have a telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis this afternoon. Let’s surprise her with a three-way call!”

Of course Peter was all for that! So we patched Ariel in and had a little conference call that was pretty lighthearted and full of laughter. After Peter “hung up,” Ariel and I continued our conversation with a topic she told me to ask her about. I won’t get into the details here, as that is all private and whatnot, but I will say that the details were… very detailed. And no, it wasn’t about Arch Angel Michael.

While we were talking, I got up to make lunch, so there were a couple of lulls in the conversation as I concentrated on cooking instructions and timing and whatnot. Yeah, I’m lame. I read the directions and follow them. Anyway, what I found interesting is that when our conversation was over and my lunch was finished, I wrote to Ariel and said, “Okay. What did we talk about?” she had the time of the conversation (between 1:30 and 2:00 PM EST) accurate as well as the two lulls in conversation I just described. Although she did not recall talking with Peter, she did remember the gusto with which our conversation began, and she also told me our three different topics exactly. Then she asked me, “Okay, so what did YOU hear ME say?”

I wrote her back with the very detailed details and she. was. FLOORED.

“Wow,” she told me. “You are the REAL DEAL.”

Of course, she never had a doubt.

And then she said, “If I don’t doubt you, then why do YOU doubt you?”

That was a very good question, indeed.

And that brought me the courage to share with her that memory I mentioned from 2006. Something I refused to accept about myself that I knew in my heart was true for a very long time. It was a knowing I believe I was born with, but never, EVER shared with anyone. It was the kind of knowing that is so certain that when this bit of craziness was sprung upon me in 2006 while watching DaVinci Code, I was not even surprised by it. But there was no way in hell I was going to accept it. Or admit it, for that matter. Stay tuned. I am about to open my Akashic Records and ask about it. ALL of it. And I guarantee you that the information I receive will knot up a bunch of Christian panties into an excruciatingly uncomfortable wad. Not that it’s my intention to do so. Like I said… I never wanted to know this information, let alone share it. Primarily because I know I will be attacked, damned to hell and shamed for it. But I figure, hey, my life already sucks. I might as well tell the truth since that is what I came here to do. Kicking and screaming.

Honoring my Twin Flame


Look at that love.

It was five years ago today, on May 5, 2007, that I met my twin flame soul mate. A blinding light flashed when our eyes first met, and I immediately knew this was a sign. The short time we spent together was amazing — the highest vibrations I’ve ever experienced with another being–and our chemistry was out of this world. Losing her felt like dying, but the loss changed my life in so many positive ways.

If I had not lost her,  I probably would have never walked my spiritual path, and I would have never discovered the Akashic records, where I learned more about our other lives and our mission together in this current life. As members of the Pleiadian Ring of 500, we have loved and lost each other so many times in the linear, physical world, sacrificing our spiritual bond to help teach those around us what unconditional love truly is and that true love has no boundaries.

For this experience, we (our higher selves) have agreed to come back together to combine our creative talents and twin flame energies to help raise the vibrations on this planet for the greater good of Mother Earth and the collective. So today, on this 5-5-5 Supermoon Saturday, World Liberation Day, I honor the fifth-year anniversary of meeting my twin flame — the greatest love of all. If you can spare a moment on this day of the supermoon energies, I ask, if you would be so kind, to please envision the two of us reunited for the greater good and doing our work together as post-2012 healers (as stated by my Akashic Records).

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Let’s remember to focus on the positive today and envision the kind of world in which we wish to live. I will be envisioning global peace, freedom, abundance and unconditional love for all. Here’s to World Liberation and our ONENESS.

Peace. Love. And light.

My Akashic Journey – Chapter Four – One Powerful Connection


How do you know you have a very powerful twin-flame connection in a dualistic universe? When others are constantly getting in the way and making low-down dirty attempts to keep you apart.

Playing with fire.

When people will say anything and do anything — cross ethical and spiritual boundaries, even — to make sure you and your twin flame will never, ever reunite, you know you have a very powerful connection. One that endures all the adversity. One that laughs in the face of these petty little pawns and rooks who think they can somehow undo the connection or diminish the power with futile schemes and manipulative games.

Word to the wise ass: never, EVER fuck with incarnate twin flames. Or you will, undoubtedly, suffer third-degree burns.

Red-hot spiritual agenda.

Twin flame soul mates don’t incarnate together to have a hot and steamy love affair or the ultimate romantic relationship. They have been together for eons. Yes, they have a very deep, emotional soul connection, but it’s more than just that, even. They’re here with an agenda. A spiritual agenda. One that tests traditions and blasts social boundaries to smithereens. One that challenges humanity to expand their comfort zones and open their hearts.

For my twin flame and me, our agenda has always been to challenge social norms in the relationship department. In other lives, we’ve been interracial couples and same-sex lovers. And yes, we’ve even died for our cause. My twin flame and I have been murdered numerous times for our “forbidden love.” But when one is left incarnate to mourn the loss, we’ve never lost our connection. Through all the pain and turmoil, we are still bound, eternally and faithfully, by an undying, unconditional love. That is our promise to one another as light beings and physical beings. We are attached by silver cords and gold cords that can never be severed. Believe me. I know. I have tried.

Now why would I want to do that, you ask? Well, until I understood these cords could never be cut, I thought I could ceremoniously sever the energetic cords that bound us to stop the deep, constant pain of being separate. A spirit guide then approached and said, “No. Stop trying. It cannot be done.” And that’s when I learned of the silver (past life) and gold (spiritual attainment) cords that bind us as soul mates. And, still later, I learned we’re not just soul mates, but twin-flame soul mates, which is even more powerful.

Scorching synchronicity.

Just how powerful is this connection? Imagine every place you go, you get a synchronistic reminder. Maybe, as your mind wanders over memories of times you spent together while you’re driving somewhere, a song from that exact time (four years ago) suddenly plays on your favorite Top 40 radio station, and a car just like your twin flame’s pulls out in front of you or is driving toward you. It could be as subtle as that. Or it could be way more “in your face.”

For example, when I was dating someone new, who actually knew my twin flame and the make, model and color of the car she drove, we were both a bit freaked out when we walked back to her truck to find the same make, model and color car parked next to hers, TWICE, in two different locations ON THE SAME NIGHT. After that, whenever we were together, we saw at least one car exactly like my twin flame’s either on the road or in parking lots.

I began to notice that any time I was dating someone, even though my twin flame and I had been separated for quite some time, that these type of synchronicities — from songs to similar cars to initials on license plates and logos that reminded me of her — would dramatically increase,  along with dreams of her, telepathic conversations with her, and sometimes even astral body contact. Of course, nobody believes me, but it all happened. Sometimes even with eye witnesses who would then turn to me in disbelief and say, “My god, she still loves you.”

Just a heartbeat away.

I couldn’t deny that SOMEthing was still there. Whether it was love or just energy, I didn’t know. As cool as it was, it also sometimes felt like torture. I finally decided I needed to ask my Akashic Records about it. This is how the session went on Sunday, January 24, 2010:

Where does the energy come from that creates the synchronicities that remind me of my twin flame when I’m dating or with someone else?

The energy comes from her and your connection to her. It is sparked by thought — jealousy, rage, the desire for power and control. When your twin flame thinks of you with someone else, she wants you to remember her. To think ONLY of HER. She sends out thought patterns that create the synchronicities. It’s a form of psychic vampire-ness. When you are with someone else, it is more prevalent because the thoughts of you with someone else are torturing her mind. When you are not with someone, she relaxes and the patterns slow, so it is just telepathy you share.

So she creates these things with her mind alone?

Yes.

What are the things I am seeing and hearing — are they really taking place, or are they holograms?

Holograms? No. These things actually manifest. If they were holograms, your friends would not be able to see them.

How does my twin flame actually have the power to manifest these things into reality?

She is powerful. She will get what she wants. That is not to say she goes about it in the right or appropriate way. She has tons of magic up her sleeve. This is why she gets the women and keeps them attracted to her. She is enjoying the power trip. This is why you need to stay quiet.

Stay quiet with the telepathy, too?

Not necessarily. The telepathy being exchanged is with her higher self. It is better for you to communicate with her this way than in the physical. Keep her ego out of it. She is on an ego trip when she does these things.

Is she aware that she is doing it?

She is aware of what she wishes, but she can’t possibly know the results.

So, if I were not connected to her, then I would probably not experience the synchronicities?

True. Correct. Your connection to her is not one that can be closed or cut off, however. You are connected by silver cords and gold cords that keep your souls connected, always/forever.

What about the astral travel? Is that real?

Between the two of you? Of course. You’re travelers, and this is something the two of you do well together. It is why she equates to Superman — all the flying dreams she has. They are not dreams. They are actually journeys your souls take together when your astral bodies are free from ego. But this is why she identifies with Superman. The flying. The two of you have been doing this together for many, many eons — in and out of physical incarnation. It is what you will do together when you reunite, too. In many aspects, your souls will “fly.”

Why can I not feel her as strongly or see her astral body like I used to?

Her energy has been weakened by stress, prescription pain medications and sleep aids. They’re weighing her down. It will change when you’re back together. Healing will take place and medications will no longer be needed.

How can I believe in the telepathic messages she sends me when she says one thing and shows another?

You are connected to her higher self. The lower self is the one who is doing the opposite of what her higher self is saying to you.

Will they ever merge and be the same person?

Yes, of course. This is what you’re all striving for. It’s in that final lesson she will learn from the spell-caster’s descendent that she will find her higher self. You have no reason to doubt or be disappointed.

How will I ever be able to date or have a relationship with anyone without my twin flame’s energy interfering?

Why would you want to when you love her? When your heart is WITH HER?

Because I’m still not sure WHEN she’ll come around.

She’ll come around soon enough that you don’t need to worry about dating anyone else.

But I’m lonely.

How? She is right there, always a breath away. Just a heartbeat away. You will notice when she’s there with you. You hear a double heartbeat. That is her. Right there with you. There is no reason to doubt. She’s always been there. Even before you knew her or she knew you in this life. You are twin soul mates. It is like you are sharing the same womb.

So it is okay for me to continue assuring her I love her?

Absolutely! That’s what we mean by “holding the light.” She comes to you because she is seeking to be with you.

Even though she’s with someone else?

Yes. We told you. This woman she is with is nothing. Not a threat. Just a pawn. Your twin flame’s lower and higher selves both want you. That is their common bond. Her energy will never leave you. Not even in death. She wants to be with you. She tells you that over and over again. Do us ALL a favor and BELIEVE her. She travels to you every night to be with you — even when she is laying next to that other woman. Her heart is with YOU. Her soul is with YOU. Her BODY is misplaced at the moment, but will soon follow her heart and soul. No worries. When the time is right, she will return.

I have more questions about the synchronicities she manifests into reality. Is she literally thinking, “Make her see a car like mine,” or “Play this song on the radio now?” Is that how it works?

No. Not exactly. She might picture something in her mind, like driving past you. Or she may be thinking of a song that she wants you to hear, or even just thinking of a song that reminds her how she feels about you or the situation, and then it will play for you.

Resistance is futile.

Although part of me wants to chalk all this up to coincidence or “just my imagination,” the simple truth of the matter is that it’s not. All of this is really happening, and still happening, on a very regular basis. As much as I would like to walk away from it all, and just start a brand new life in a new town where no one knows me at all, I know in my heart the efforts would not change anything. This is why I choose to believe…and trust…and continue to have faith that one day we will be together again. Until then, the situation just really sucks. Well, for me anyway. Especially with all the games being played by manipulative souls who haven’t a clue what they’re dealing with. I know my lesson to learn is to not let ego freak out about these games, but, of course, being human in 3D density makes that a bit difficult 99 percent of the time. I suppose the day that I can observe another attempt by a dark soul to keep us apart and not react to it or worry about it will be the day that I graduate — in faith — to the next level. Believe me, I am looking forward to that day.

The facebook Honeymoon



Copyright 2010

Nothing is as mesmerizing as a dramatic love affair. Writers have been captivating our attention with romantic tragedies, dramas, and comedies for centuries now. Whether it’s a romance novel, a stage show, a movie, an ET snippet, a National Enquirer exclusive, a reality television show, or a facebook honeymoon, we are captivated by it in one sense or another.

We’re all familiar with the most famous love tragedy — Romeo and Juliet — the story of two lovers willing to sacrifice everything for each other. And then there is the modern-day love tragedy — The Facebook Honeymoon — the reality of two lovers who are ❤ in a relationship ❤ and it’s…destined to FAIL, FAIL, FAIL!

Tell-tale sign number one the relationship is destined to FAIL:

The “it’s complicated” option.

Aren’t you just embarrassed for people who stake this claim? It’s like, ummm…wow…good luck with that!

Seriously…how can you be hopeful for something like that? If Internet love tragedies annoy you, HIDE THIS PERSON NOW!!!

But aren’t you still curious about what makes it “complicated?” You start to wonder…okay…which one of them is married or “not quite divorced” yet? Or you wonder, which one of them is confused about their sexuality? Or, better yet, which one is “in love,” and which one is “just along for the ride?” Or even more blatantly honest, which one is in it just to make someone else jealous?

Mm hmm, you know the kind. You’ve seen the status headlines. Which brings us to tell-tale sign number two that the relationship is destined to FAIL: The super-happy “we’re SO in love” claims!

Okay, so some people ARE truly in love (or one of them is, anyway)…for now…and they want to shout it to the rooftops. Once or twice. Maybe three times will suffice. But then there are those who just keep shouting it…over…and over…and OVER!!!!!

This is usually the person who is really NOT in love, but claiming to be, in order to make someone ELSE (who is NOT in the “relationship”) jealous. It could be an ex. It could be someone who previously rejected them. Or it could be someone the claimant is trying to attract. Whomever it is, s/he is most likely not even paying attention, thus the obsession for repetition.

Most modest folks, who are truly in love (and sweetly mention it on occasion — like an anniversary) live by this simple creed from Corinthians (1 Corinthians 13:5-8a and 13[NIV]):

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

While on the subject of boastful claims, let’s move on to tell-tale sign number three the relationship is destined to FAIL: claims of “forever.”

Yep, they’ve known each other for three months (or less) and they are already using the F word. Let’s see if they are STILL staking that claim after one full year of dating or living together.

Again, love is PATIENT and it does NOT BOAST, and it is NOT PROUD.

Ohh, and while on the subject of pride, here we go! Tell-tale sign number four the relationship will FAIL: the phony-smile “happy couple” photo.

You’ve seen them. You’ve laughed at them. Both of them look like they just swallowed a turd and are pretending they enjoyed it.

A picture is worth a thousand words…or just one: FAIL!

What is more amusing are the phony comments of encouragement underneath the photos from friends who can see the obvious, but still write, “so happy for you both!” or “you make such a great couple.” And then there are the comments these couples write themselves underneath the photos to try to convince everyone “we are SO VERY HAPPY!”

Bwahaha! Mm kay. FAIL!

Annnd, since we’re talking about revealing photos, let’s segue into tell-tale sign number five the relationship will FAIL: the awkward kissing photo.

You’ve seen these photos, too, and you’ve had more romantic ones taken with your furry four-legged friend. These people either look like they are kissing their sibling at best, or trying to extract a lung with their tongues.

Aww! No one comments on this photo because it is just too embarrassing. FAIL!

Let’s just cut to the chase…tell-tale sign number six this relationship will FAIL: the overly obvious trying-too-hard-to-convince-everyone pet names (adjectives + noun) in their status headlines.

“So in love with my super hot sexxxy WIFE!” (who she’s not even married to because state law prohibits same sex-marriage.)

Oh em gee! Enough said. Especially when the “super hot sexxxy wife” doesn’t comment. Which brings us to our seventh and final tell-tale sign that this relationship is OVER: failure (or refusal, perhaps) to acknowledge.

The showboater in the relationship (the one obsessively throwing out all the “convincing” headlines and making their “happy couple” pictures her default photo) consistently comments on the other’s status headlines with “love yous,” and the other CONSISTENTLY doesn’t respond. For MONTHS. And his/her default photo is NEVER one of the “happy couple” pictures. Ruh roh.

Facebook Honeymoon FAIL. Relationship…BEYOND complicated. GAME OVER.

Thanks for playing, and to you at home…thanks for WATCHING!

In summary, facebook needs to add a few more options to the “in a relationship” status. Here are some suggestions:

  • “in a fake relationship to make someone else jealous.”
  • “in a destined-to-fail relationship out of sheer desperation.”
  • “in a forced relationship to escape the ex’s pleas to reunite.”

Let’s face it. Some people just cannot be alone. A relationship is what defines them — or how they define themselves.

If you’re single and tempted to jump into a relationship because you feel lost and alone, or you’re trying to prove to someone else that you can “get some,” just remember:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Hold out for TRUE love, people, because these fake relationships are undeniably tacky, and they are SO transparent!