clairaudience

Hall of Records and Akashic Records: What’s the Difference?

FreerSpirit 4D, 6D, Akashic Records, Fourth Dimension, Jen Freer, My Akashic Journey, Pleaidians, Pleiadians, Sixth Dimension, spirit world, Spirituality Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Lately I’m finding a lot of spiritualists referencing “The Hall of Records” and The Akashic Records as if they are the same thing, but something feels very OFF about information coming from “The Hall of Records,” so I decided to do a bit of digging in The Akashic Records to find out what “The Hall of Records” is and how the two compare.

My Akashic Team says that “The Hall of Records” is a 4D knock-off of The Akashic Records.

The Akashic Records are housed in the Sixth Dimension of Innocence and Truth, and they are protected by Pleiadian Ascended Masters. These records contain the archives of each individual soul (or light being, if you prefer) and all lives they’re living (everything is happening “right now” according to the Akashic Records, where there is no “time”). Each soul carries its own records in the high-heart chakra, and, when the soul leaves the physical body, it takes this archival chakra with it.

So, then, what is “The Hall of Records?”

Years ago, I thought maybe the Hall of Records was where the historical records of “world stage happenings” was kept within the Akashic Records. Think political bullshit, wars, the rise and fall of civilizations, etc. NOPE. Wrong.

As it turns out, the Akashic Records state that “The Hall of Records” was created by the 4D beings of the Earth Matrix (those who use sorcery and black magic to control and oppress humanity) as a very cheap, manipulative knock off of The Akashic Records.

The Hall of Records can be accessed by humans who have evolved into 4D consciousness (awareness of spirit) and vibration. This means anyone who has one or more sixth-sense abilities, such as clairaudience, clairvoyance, claircognizance, clairsentience, clairalience or clairgustance, can tap into the 4D Hall of Records to receive information, but caution is advised, considering that the Fourth Dimension is very similar to the Third Dimension in the fact that you still have polarity and duality, and the polarizing energies are still Fear and Love. While some of the information in the Hall of Records is true, (or seems true) it is important to remember that the Hall of Records was created by 4D beings known for trickery and reverse speech.

If you want the whole truth, it is better to circumvent the 4D “Hall of Records” and move on up to the 6D Akashic Records. We incarnated to evolve into higher consciousness and vibration, and that means leaving trickery and deception behind.

Ready to level up? I offer private, 1:1 virtual sessions that teach you how to access your personal Akashic Records or how to access the Akashic Records for others. Adding this skill to your spiritual gifts and talents will boost your confidence and accuracy in whatever healing modalities you offer. Click here to book your session today.

12.19.2019 Pleiadian Message: True Power

FreerSpirit 3D, 5D, Akash, Akashic Records, Collective Consciousness, Consciousness, Dimensions, Fifth Dimension, higher self, highest self, Jen Freer, Meditation, Pleaidians, Pleiadian message, Pleiadians, Reincarnation, Spiritual, Spirituality, Star Family, Star seeds, Starseeds, Third Dimension, Unity Consciousness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 9 Comments

flower_of_life_cube6

Yesterday day I received this simple message:

“True power doesn’t need money.”

This came from the familiar voice of one of my lead and highly trusted Pleiadian Mentors who my soul family affectionately refers to as “Grandpa James,” a name from our WWII era life we lived together on Earth. Recently he told me that his Pleiadian name is Pontius, but, with me, he prefers Grandpa James. So, refer to him however you wish: Pontius or Grandpa James. Either way, he is one of my personal most trusted advisers from The Pleiadian Ring of 500.

When I hear his voice, I know he is about to lay down some truth. My personal favorite quote from him is simple and true:

“Hearts don’t change. Only MINDS change. Hearts stay true. Forever.”

I love that. Simple. Pure. Yet profound, if you truly dig in and think about it.

Anyway, yesterday’s message from him was similar in tone. I wish I could describe his voice to you, but I don’t even know how to begin. Is it distinct? Maybe. It is for me, anyway, because, even though it’s a male voice, it’s gentle, but still masculine. Divine Masculine is my best attempt here. And it’s pure in pitch and tone. Full of honesty and love.

“True power doesn’t need money.”

It may seem like a super simple statement. And for the 3D-minded, it, of course, sounds like a bunch of horse hockey. But for those on their spiritual path – the true seekers who know they are here to do much more than just work and pay bills – this statement is an invitation to dig deeper and self-trust harder than ever before.

Now, when I’m talking about self-trust, I’m not talking about what you THINK you know in your ego mind. I’m talking about that stuff you knew about yourself when you were a kid that everyone told you was nonsense. That stuff that you still fantasize about today or catch glimpses of in dreamscape. Invincibility. Yep. That’s it!

True. Raw. Power. Flying power. Healing power. Teleportation power. The kind of power that, if you had it, you would never need money. Oh yeah. Here we go! Now we’re talking, right?

So yesterday, when I heard the message, THOSE were the things that came immediately to mind for me with that simple statement. That’s the stuff I KNOW about. In my heart. And, yes, in my mind, too. I see it in my dreams: I’ve healed people by merely touching them or shaking their hands; I’ve taught people how to fly and teleport using their Merkaba vehicles. I’ve traveled to other dimensions via wormholes that operated like fully-enclosed water slides. This is the REAL stuff. The FUN stuff. The stuff that actually matters SO much more than this mundane 3D Matrix we seem to be stuck in during our “waking” (hahaha) hours. Oh my god, it’s so opposite, isn’t it? It’s like the nightmare we can’t wake up from, and our dreamscape is the real world we all want to be in (when the dreams are good, I mean; I know some are still experiencing sad and horrifying dreams, and for that, I am truly, deeply sorry).

Let’s get back to “True power doesn’t need money.”

When I heard it, I knew a Pleiadian Message was coming… that something was brewing. But, you see, I made a deal with my peeps before I agreed to share messages from them on my blog site. The deal was that it HAD to be something different than all of the other channelers were sharing. Or, if it was different, it at least had to be more detailed or more specific than the others in some way. AND, it had to be ACCURATE. No more of this “soon” crap. Who knew their “soon” would be 10, 15 or 20 Earth years, right? (Don’t get me started! Hahaha!) But, ultimately, the “when” really IS up to us – our consciousness, our vibration, and our ability and willingness to activate and USE our powers. And to trust ourselves: our claircognizance, clairaudience, clairvoyance and clairsentience. AND our TRUE POWER.

So, when I heard “True power doesn’t need money,” I waited, but I didn’t hear anything else.

“That’s it?” I asked. That’s it, I felt. Yep. That’s all. I need to write that down. So I posted it as a blog. A very simple, profound statement that is packed with SO much unpacking for the human collective that it needed to stand alone for 24 hours. I even realized after the fact that I wrote the wrong damn date on it! It was December 18, and I wrote 12.19.2019 in the title. When I realized it, I heard my higher-self say, “It’s from the future.” So I left it alone.

I laid down to rest, and, as I settled my head, I heard a BELL bong. It was like a church bell sound, but only one bong that vibrated a bit before it faded.

Now I’ve heard a LOT of things as far as tones and frequencies. High pitched. Low pitched. Varying pitches, like the old FAX machine sounds. Static. High-pitched white noise. Low-pitched white noise. Bee hive humming. Metallic clinking. Whirring. Popping. Crackling. Brief complete and total deafness, even. But never have I ever heard a BELL bong like that. Something NEW! So there was my confirmation that the short simple message I posted was what they wanted me to do. For the time being, anyway.

Today, while driving home after dropping my son off at school this morning, I received a LOT more information about it. So, I’ll be writing when I get home, I thought as I sat at a traffic light, and the light turned green. GO. I felt a sudden urgency to get home and begin writing. Once home, I hung up my coat and walked to the stove to heat the tea kettle. I had a feeling this would be a long one. As I crossed over the highest traffic area of our home, I noticed a tiny piece of paper on the floor. Now I had crossed this spot several times this morning and never once saw that piece of paper until this very moment. And, it’s a black floor, so the white paper was quite an eye catcher.

“What the heck?” I said, as I picked it up. It was from a Yogi Tea Bag, and it said:

“Develop the power of listening.”

At first I was like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” and I threw it in the trash. I went to my office to turn on my laptop, and all of the sudden I was like… wait… I need to take a photo of that for this blog. It’s important somehow. So, here it is…

IMG_20191219_081809698~2.jpg

 

SIDE NOTE: This is ironic because last night I was watching the episode of Shut Eye where Charlie keeps seeing this crow with a sign that says “Are you listening?” and then follows the trail to a spiritual seminar with the same title that was presented to him by a spiritual teacher in an earlier episode.

Most of you who follow my blog know that when I “channel” Pleiadian messages, I ALWAYS open my Akashic Records first in order to create a clear, secure line of communication between me, my higher-self and my Pleiadian soul family, but for those of you who are new to my site (welcome!) I want you to know that I am not communicating with just any voice that comes through claiming to be Pleiadian. That’s not how I roll. I have very high, strict standards, and I ONLY communicate with those on my Akashic Team who I am familiar with; I ask them to identify themselves so that YOU know who they are, as well.

For those of you who are not aware, the Akashic Records are kept in the sixth dimension, the dimension of innocence and truth, and this is the vibration we shift into when we access our personal records. I keep mine open almost all of the time now, but, when I am about to work on a message for the collective, I always say the formal pathway prayer to open them before I begin.

Now that I have done this, I will begin asking Pontius (Grandpa James) some pointed questions about yesterday’s short message. My questions will appear in bold, and his answers will appear in regular text.

Grandpa James, yesterday you said: “True power doesn’t need money.” Can you tell me who this message was for?

This message was for humanity. Those who get it, and those who don’t quite yet (but they will).

For me, this simple statement says a LOT of things, but, at the same time, it also makes me go: “Yeah, right.” (Eye roll.) As you know, the mindset in the 3D Matrix is “Money IS Power.” So how can you help us better accept your message that true power doesn’t need money?

Money IS power? That is a chuckle. The problem here is that you, as a collective, GIVE the power to those who wield control over humanity. Your thought process is that those with the money have the power, and, because they have the money, they must somehow be smarter and better than you, so you must look up to them and obey them.

Have you stopped to think about how they GOT their money? Not by wielding POWER, but by generating FEAR in a system that THEY created to work ONLY for them. They created this fake value (money) and told you that you have to work for it in order to pay for goods and services and food and shelter. Then they tax you on the money you make, and you fear the fees and/or imprisonment if you don’t pay the taxes. They are not powerful. They are bullies. And this is not the kind of power we are talking about. No, TRUE power is not accessible to them because they are full of fear; fear of losing their fake money and fake power.

So, tell us more about TRUE power. What is it? What do you mean by that?

TRUE power is the stuff you are made of. It comes from the heart; your soul. It is all you are – all you have ever been – and everything you have ever learned and experienced in all lifetimes, across all dimensions and star systems. You are only now just beginning to remember who you TRULY are at soul level; it has taken some time, yes, and it will continue to unravel for you as you take in more energetic downloads that activate those dormant strands of DNA. As those continue to fire up, more and more information and gifts and talents will become available to you. The more you are aware of this, the faster you will access all of it. We understand that many of you are still sleepy. Awakening is not always easy, but it is happening for all of you in much grander ways than you ever realized.

This is what we want to talk to you about today. Realization. And we’re talking about more than the “ah ha!” moments of realizing in your mind that you have these gifts and talents available to you that occasionally present themselves. We’re talking about actually putting your gifts and talents to use on a regular basis. Instead of being amazed by them, start USING them. These are not collector’s items that sit on shelves, dear ones. (You know why they’re called “collector’s” items, right? Because they collect DUST.) Look, we understand that your dormant gifts and talents, which we will herein refer to as powers, have been collecting proverbial dust for lifetimes within the 3D Earth Matrix, but that is no longer an excuse to not exercise them.

Trust us when we say: You are smarter, you are stronger, and you are more powerful than those who bully you into debt slavery over currency that isn’t even truly real, dear ones. Develop your powers and begin creating (together, as a collective) a more loving, caring and supportive human race that embraces peace, trust and harmony. Stop waiting for politicians and governments to give these things to you; they are not in the business of creating peace, trust, freedom or harmony because, if you have those things, then they can no longer control you and take your money. Think about this a little harder and a lot longer, dear ones.

We’re going to say it again:

Stop waiting for politicians and governments to create peace, trust, freedom and harmony.

Peace, trust, freedom and harmony can only come from the collective consciousness. You have to own the 5D vibration in order to collectively share it with one another. As you share it with one another, your collective vibration grows and overpowers those who manipulate you.

You cannot do this by raising your vibration for a 30-minute or 60-minute mass meditation (this would be comparative of trying to drive a car down a highway intermittently pressing the gas pedal in spurts to get to your destination). All of you need to consistently be in your highest vibration at all times, pedal to the metal, from here on out, in order to begin owning your TRUE power.

Yes, we know you are tired, but you are all getting a strong second wind now, and it will carry you through all of 2020, so buck up and power up. This is what you volunteered and incarnated to do as Ground Crew. You’re being called to duty.

Called to duty in what way? Can you clarify that for us?

 You’re being called to be in your highest potential power at all times. That means being alert, awake and aware, with love and compassion for your fellow human family. That means serving humanity before corporations, governments, churches, military complexes, etc. That means…

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Some of us work for the corporations, governments, etc. What are you saying, here?

 Look back in history. All the mightiest empires fall. Survival can’t happen within a debt slavery system. While it does for some time, all end up failing, and, as more and more of the human collective awakens, less and less will be able to function in debt slavery.

Remember: True power doesn’t need money.

What does true power need?

Trust/love, compassion… all those 5D capabilities.

So, is there going to be a ginormous financial collapse in 2020?

Oh, the crash has already happened. You’re just riding on fumes at this point. No one is going to announce it. That would be admission of failure and loss of control. This is why we’re urging you to step into your personal power. Those of you reading this missive, that is. There are many others who claim to be in their spiritual power or “awakened” who will never, ever see or read this, and that is, quite simply, because they aren’t.

Anyone can wave or shoot or gun or point and fire a missile. That doesn’t make them powerful.

Just like anyone can make a claim to be an intellectual genius, spiritual chosen one, or a “royal.” Those things don’t make anyone powerful, either.

Believe us, there ARE chosen ones, and they are not the type to go around announcing it on a grand scale. The REAL chosen ones are those reading this message now.

Remember, it takes real, TRUE power to be compassionate and to stand up in the midst of adversity to do the right thing. It takes TRUE power and courage to love yourself, trust yourself (your heart), and to allow yourself to be loved. It takes TRUE power to let go of a dying, crumbling matrix with the trust that something better can be created that is beneficial to all instead of only a select few. It takes TRUE power to know, without a doubt, that everything you could possibly ever need to survive is already within you, and that it will all unfold for you at the very moment that you need it.

Rely on your intuition now more than you ever have before. Have faith. Be smart. Stay strong.

You ARE invincible, even though you’ve been conditioned to believe you’re not.

Also, to those reading this, you ARE the leaders for the human collective consciousness within the Earth Matrix. Keep your thoughts positive and focused only on what humanity needs to survive at this time. You may choose words to meditate on such as: Health. Wealth. Abundance. Freedom. Peace. Love. Compassion. Sovereignty. Prosperity. Unity. Harmony. Purity.

You get the picture. Envision it. Feed it. Water it. Express gratitude for it. Watch it manifest.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Is there anything else you’d like to add before we close? How about the “develop the power of listening” message that I keep seeing. Is that just for me, or for the crew?

 It is for all of you. clairaudience is strong for most of you now. Listen for prompts, instruction, and advice. We will be in communication with all of you, so please take the time to create sacred space for yourself to listen daily. Ask for clarification when you need it. We want to make certain everyone feels loved and supported as you carry out your missions.

Godspeed!

 

© Jen Freer 2019| FreerSpirit.com | Pleiadian Message Series | All rights reserved by the author, Jen Freer, who gives permission for this blog to be shared far and wide as long as a citation is included that links back to the author’s website, FreerSpirit.com

Clairalience gives new meaning to “smell ya later.”

FreerSpirit Mediumship, Metaphysical, Paranormal, Spiritual, Spirituality Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

215-17-nature-burning-215-21-3

Ever smell something that makes no sense?

I mean, like, cigarette, cigar or pipe smoke in a non-smoking environment? A lost loved one’s cologne or perfume in your house that you haven’t smelled in ages? Or maybe cookies or pie baking when your oven isn’t even on?

This is actually a sixth-sense ability, believe it or not. While most “woke folks” are bragging up the interesting visions they’ve experienced with their clairvoyant third-eye, or sharing what they heard spirit say, or what they felt when they entered an antique store or the cemetery down the street, it’s not so often that you hear people talking about mysterious odors.

Let’s face it, when it comes to sixth-sense abilities, clairvoyance (the ability to see with the third-eye) gets top billing. Visions, whether they be glimpses of the past, or future events, or of a lost loved one in spirit, are the “real deal.” The ability to hear spirit (clairaudience) is often brushed off as possible schizophrenia, so, of course, it’s not deemed as “woke” as clairvoyance until some facts are shared and the ability is proven reliable. Clairsentience (feeling) and claircognizance (knowing) are probably more widely experienced than clairgustance (tasting) and clairalience (smelling), but clairalience may be one of the first of your sixth-sense abilities to open up for you.

Why? Because it’s the least daunting.

As a kid, I could see, hear and feel spirit world like it was part of my normal world. For me, they blended together, and there was no separation. Somehow, I knew never to share what I saw and heard from spirit with parents or friends. Spirit never mentioned this to me; I just knew (claircognizance). Then middle school happened, and, being an empath, I was so wrapped up in feeling everyone’s hormonal emotions, that I did not experience spirit like I used to. At least not until college, when I lived in the most haunted building in Boston my freshman year, and witnessed a LOT of physical proof of paranormal activity (mostly still objects getting pushed around or shooting across my dorm room, even). Yeah, it was a bit creepy. Fortunately, I knew to set boundaries. Respect me and my stuff, and I will respect you.

I can’t say there weren’t any incidents after that, but I did my best to shut it out. I knew most spirits were either looking for acknowledgment or some kind of reaction (such as fear). I refused to give it to them. And, guess what… when you ignore them long enough, they leave you alone. I began to enjoy my peace and quiet for a good decade or so. I even got to a point where I was very ANTI psychic/spirit world. (I was drinking fluoridated tap water at the time, if that tells you anything.) I remember reading a book title about “opening up your sixth senses,” and I was like “hell to the NO!”

That’s not to say that I didn’t see or feel spirits trying to approach me; I did, but my response was always, “NO! Go AWAY!” Surprisingly, they respectfully retracted their energy, which, in retrospect, tells me they were benevolent beings.

maxresdefault

My first memory of a clairalience experience (AKA: clairosmesis, clairolfaction, clairessence and clairscent) was in an empty church. I was helping the pastor set up for Sunday service on a Saturday evening. No one had been in the church at all that day. While setting up, the pastor went to her office to look for something, and I headed to the bathroom. When we both returned to the sanctuary, the room smelled strongly of a lit match – you know, that burnt wood matchstick scent. She looked at me funny and said, “did you light a candle?” I was like, “No, but it smells like a burnt match in here. I thought you lit something.”

We looked all around for evidence of matches or a burning candle, but found nothing. She chalked it up to a message from spirit, and I was like, *shrugs* “ermkay.” (Again, fluoride.)

tabu

My next clairalience experience happened a few years later. I had just pulled into my garage. Normally garages smell like petrol fumes when you pull into them. Or perhaps stale motor oil. Or maybe like dying grass if you just cut the lawn and store your mower in the garage. But they normally do NOT smell like perfume. And that’s what I smelled that day when I got out of my car after pulling into the garage:  my grandmother’s Tabu.
Not only do I remember the scent, but I remember seeing the bottle on her dresser in my early childhood. The colors of the logo and the typeface still look similar today!

Scary sidenote: in looking for the above image, I read that Jean Charles made this perfume back in 1932 when he was instructed to “make a fragrance for a whore.”
WOW! I never knew my grandmother had a racy side. Although, I do recall seeing a glamour photo of her wearing a feather boa. Go G!

Anyway, getting back on track, this is what I mean by smelling something that is beyond normal for the environment you’re in. That’s how you know for sure you’re experiencing clairalience. Interestingly enough,  I was back to well water at this time in my life, and so it began… tons of communication from spirit, which included the activation of ALL of the sixth-sense abilities mentioned above except clairgustance (taste). I’m not sure if I have ever experienced that. I chew a lot of gum, so it’s hard to say.

The-Full-Bodied-Cigar

My spouse and I experienced a lot clairalience moments at the cottage we lived in a few years ago. Her grandfather smoked cigars, and we often smelled cigar smoke in our cottage, even though neither of us smoked. Her brother-in-law even noticed it when he was visiting one day. It was always just in one area of the house, and he smelled it as soon as he entered that area. He was like, “It’s just RIGHT HERE,” as he pointed to the area next to our coffee nook. “It’s not anywhere else in the house.” His blue eyes danced with excitement, as if he’d just found some kind of treasure.

“Sometimes we smell it over by the door to the deck, too,” I explained.

The cottage itself emanated its own share of disturbing aromas (usually dead rodent type odors), but there were distinct smells of cigar, pipe and cigarette smoke wafting through now and then, when the house was closed up tight for the winter. Of course, by that time, I was far more open to spirit than I had been back when I smelled that burnt match in the empty church.

So, yeah… clairalience! It’s a sixth-sense thing. You’ve probably experienced it more than you realize. And, for those who say they don’t have any sixth-sense abilities, this is one you probably DO have, but didn’t realize it, or maybe didn’t embrace it as an intuitive ability to sense spirit or beings beyond your perceivable realm.

What can we DO with clairalience?

Think of it as a building block to opening other sixth-sense abilities that help us experience 4D spirit world and beyond. When you smell something that is not part of your current physical environment, then you know something or someone beyond your physical realm is present. If you embrace this with welcoming energy, you may open yourself to something more, such as hearing a verbal message, or seeing an apparition, but most likely you will feel something first… or experience the claircognizant knowing of who is present by the signature scent of that loved one who has transitioned into spirit.

If, however, you react with fearfulness, it is likely your loved ones will withdraw and try again another day.

Hey, if you’ve ever had experiences with clairalience, please share in the comment section below. I’d love to hear about it!

Natural Born Empath

FreerSpirit Empath Awareness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 8 Comments

Emotional pain. Sorrow. Mental misery. Aching emptiness.

If you’re at all human, you may have experienced these feelings at one time or another, and, if you have experienced these feelings at one time or another, you know they’re not very pleasant. Feelings like these are so heavy at times, you can barely breathe. Sometimes emotions like these feel as if they could literally suffocate you, if you can’t – somehow – scratch and claw your way out of them.

It’s bad enough when you have to feel your own pain – can you imagine feeling the pain of someone else as well? Or how about a room full of people’s emotions? Can you imagine that?

If you’re not a natural born empath, then you probably cannot imagine that. If you are an empath, you may feel overwhelmed on a daily basis – not only by your own feelings, but by those of others around you or even by those who are far away, but with whom you are energetically connected. You may even feel the emotional stress or trauma of people you have never met, but who have just passed by you or who are traveling in your general direction.

For an extreme literal example, when I was a kid and I saw an amputee being wheeled toward me in a public place, I felt a sickness wash over me – a cold, nauseated sort of feeling. The site of an amputee would literally knock the breath out of me and immobilize me. This type of reaction was automatic enough that my mom would literally steer me away from the site of amputees if she managed to spot them before I did.

One time, when I was about 12, my mom and my sister-in-law and I were all walking together in the mall when my mom spotted an Army veteran with a missing leg being wheeled in our direction just seconds after I did. She steered me away and shielded my line of vision with her body.

“Why does that bother her so much?” my sister-in-law, a registered nurse, asked in her usual snotty tone.

“She’s sensitive,” my mom explained with compassion.

“She needs to get over it,” my sister-in-law said with a roll of her eyes.

Like I was some sort of mamby-pamby wimp. She had no clue what it was like to feel her own pain, let alone the pain of someone else.

Of course, these cold type of INsensitives make excellent candidates for the medical field, so they are always wealthy – and often cold, clinical, snooty and rude – while highly sensitive people like myself struggle to hold any kind of job because so many different things affect us and distract us in the daily world.

I don’t think a true empath could ever work in the medical field – and definitely NOT in a hospital. We take in the feelings of everyone in our general environment on a daily basis – on top of our own. This is why I cannot even visit a friend or loved one in the hospital. I can only last about twenty minutes in a hospital before I begin to feel claustrophobic and start to hyperventilate. I never really understood why until about a year ago – when I learned what a natural empath is, and that I am one.

I was in a medical clinic, actually, undergoing a breast biopsy, when the realization hit me with the most clarity. It was when they shoved this hollow needle – about the same girth as a Bic pen – into my breast. It didn’t hurt. No, I was more numb than a coke addict floating in 32-degree water, but my body recognized that something foreign had entered it, and immediately went into shock.

If your body has never gone into shock, this is what happens: a cold feeling washes over you and you begin to sweat. Profusely. I could feel beads of sweat the size of half-dollars pooling all over my body. At the same time, your mouth dries up and you feel like – well, you can’t decide, really, because you can’t swallow and you can’t breathe – so you’re really not sure if you’re going to puke or pass out. You hover just inches above your body in this wonky state of weirdness wondering: am I awake or dreaming? Dead or alive? Floating or–?

What just happened? Gasp, gasp, gasp!

And, yes, you are conscious the entire time.

This state of shock was a very familiar feeling to me – but this time it was much crisper – more real – and definitely more frightening than ever before. I later realized that this state-of-shock feeling was familiar to me because it was what I used to feel as a kid when I saw an amputee’s stump. I’d see it, hear it, and then feel it – meaning I would see the stump, hear the saw blade or the bullets or the bombs – and then, BOOM, I felt the state of shock their body felt when it happened – whatever it was that stole their limb. This is why I reacted the way I did when I was a kid; I’d feel the cold, nauseated panic of the amputee’s body as it realized – but could not yet feel – the loss of the limb.

The reason my experience with my body being in a state of shock felt so much stronger when I had my biopsy was because it was the first time the state of shock was actually my own. I’m glad I experienced it, though, because it made me realize what happened to me as a kid – back when I was so much more open – spiritually and psychically – than I am now.

There are other feelings I experience now, though, since I have managed to desensitize myself a bit to control the physical stuff. Now I’m more in tune to the emotional feelings of others. Even when they say nothing or deny what they are feeling, I already know how people are feeling, and sometimes even why they are feeling the way they do – even if they don’t know why they are feeling that way.

Over a decade ago, one of my best friends was struggling with the untimely death of both her parents, their alcoholism, and their abusiveness toward her as a child. It was hard to get a hold of her at times, but I managed to connect with her on occasion, and, when I did, it was usually a very emotional three to four hour phone conversation. In one conversation, she confessed to me that her father had held a gun to her head a few years prior, but then turned it on himself. Although he didn’t actually shoot anyone, it was simply the trauma of the incident that left her rattled.

I couldn’t tell her that I knew why – that I knew what he did to her when she was little. I didn’t know what he did to her because I actually witnessed anything firsthand, but I did “see” it – psychically that is. I couldn’t tell her, though, because the one thing I wasn’t sure of was whether or not she knew her father had molested her. I didn’t dare say anything because I realized that it was highly likely that this was something she had repressed. So I choked it down like rotten hamburger and left it there, unsettled and agonizing, in my gut.

Something similar happened a couple years ago with an acquaintance I hardly knew. I was helping her move some things to her new place. She had been staying at her sister’s house, so I met her there. Again, I knew nothing about this girl’s past; I barely knew anything about her present. When I pulled in the driveway, I noticed that all three cars parked there had rainbow stickers in the back windows.

“Who does that green car belong to?” I asked.

“That’s my sister’s,” she replied.

“Your sister’s a lesbian, too?” I asked as I peered deep into her hazel eyes which immediately – somehow – became a mirror-like silver.

“Well, yeah,” she smiled. It almost seemed as if she were laughing – as if to say “duh!”

But something else happened in that moment. Sometimes I see things. Sometimes I hear things. This time it was just a simple knowledge – one that startled me, so I know it was not an assumption. It was information passed from the all knowing directly from the source – her eyes to mine – her soul to mine – her guides to mine.

Another victim.

Again, I said nothing about the information I received.

A few minutes later, I met her sister in person; the introduction was brief and the exchange was monosyllabic. Creepiness. She made my skin crawl. Enough said.

I never mentioned anything to this person because I’m pretty sure this stuff is buried deep within her, too – most likely repressed – and it isn’t my place to mention it. Still, I have to live with the knowledge – and the stress of knowing, but pretending to not know anything – all while watching this person’s dysfunctional patterns repeat over and over again, and even feeling the panic, disappointment and frustration that this distant being feels on a regular basis.

Being an empath can be maddening. Seriously. Not just the knowing – but the feeling, too. Insensitive people can suspect something such as molestation, and, because they have no empathy for the feelings of that person, they can just bluntly ask the question, or, in some cases, blurt it out without hesitation. Empaths, however, are more energetically in tune, and we can feel exactly what our counterpart is feeling. That is how we know better than to pose the question or spew the accusation; we feel that person is not emotionally ready to deal with this information. In fact, such traumatic knowledge could throw abuse victims into a psycho-dramatic tailspin of denial and a feeling of betrayal that leads to eventual mistrust.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering how I could possibly know this information to be true if I have never asked my friends if it might be. You’re wondering if I have ever had feelings like this with anyone that I have confronted and learned that I was right on with what I was feeling. The answer is yes, I have.

Last spring I made a bracelet for a friend’s husband out of various medicinal crystals to help him deal with his own adult struggles with the knowledge of his childhood sexual abuse. The weekend after he received it, he and his wife (my friend) attended a family birthday party. He wore the bracelet to the party.

I have never in my life met this man; he lives in Massachusetts, but nonetheless, the night of the party, I was home alone in Michigan. I had just finished my dinner and I was putting my dishes in the dishwasher when all of the sudden I felt a strong craving I had not felt in almost two years: I desperately wanted to smoke a cigarette. I felt the same way I did when I was a chain-smoking fiend – I had to have that after-meal cigarette, and it was just about killing me. I remember thinking: No way. This is not me. This is not my craving. This has to be someone else. Suddenly my mind felt cloudy, and I leaned against the counter to brace myself for a new wave of weirdness.

My vision darkened, and I leaned on the counter for support. A biracial man’s right forearm with a rolled white shirt sleeve appeared in front of my eyes; his left hand came across his forearm  with a razor blade pinched between his thumb and forefinger. I saw him cut his forearm with the razor blade, then the vision faded, but I felt the release of blood gush out of my own arm and felt the relief that I assume cutters feel. I inspected my arm to see if I was cut or bleeding, but I was fine. I still kind of wanted a cigarette, though – but I knew it wasn’t really my want or need.

The next Monday, when my friend and I were emailing back and forth, I asked her if her husband had been struggling with panic attacks at all Saturday night between 8-9 o’clock. She said he was going in and out of the building a lot to smoke, but she didn’t know if he felt panicked like he wanted to cut himself. So she emailed him and asked him. He told her yes, that he felt a strong urge to cut himself Saturday night. She was totally floored.

It’s a mystery to me how I was able to connect with the emotions of a man I had never met in my life, but it happened. I am just glad that I could separate his feelings from my own, and that I didn’t give into the urge to drive to the local quickie-mart to buy a pack of smokes. After being almost two years tobacco-free at that point in my life, I think I would have cut myself if I sparked up a cowboy killer –  to punish myself for smoking again!

Of course, cutting is no laughing matter, and I am glad to say that I now understand with compassion why people cut themselves, because I could actually feel the relief this man has felt from the bloodletting. That is not to say that I recommend it or condone it, I just understand it. I wish that no one ever had to feel that kind of pain – the kind that leaves them so numb they have to cut in order to feel something or cut to release their pain.

Being an empath, as you can probably imagine, feels like both a blessing and a curse. I do like having a built-in barometer and instantaneously knowing things about people in advance. Most of the time, if I listen to my gut, it saves me the hassle of wasting my time. Of course, I’m not always that lucky. The empath in me always wants to give everyone a chance, even though the clairvoyant in me is waving huge red flags, blowing an ear-wrenching whistle, and showing me street-sign flashcards that say “wrong way,” “do not enter,” and “detour!”

Feeling the emotions of others isn’t always fun, either. Especially when they are sick or dying or feeling panic. I can be absolutely fine one minute, and then an emotional wave washes over me and I suddenly feel like sobbing, or I’m practically doubled over in pain, or I’m fraught with fear or worry. I have to take a deep breath and think to myself: okay, who could this be, because I know it’s not me. Then I start checking in with friends or my spirit guides.

Fortunately for me, many of my friends are empaths, too, so when I call to check in with them, they don’t think I’m nuts, and they often are able to help me figure out who is in trouble. That is the blessing!