Because so many of us are used to self criticism and judgment as the route to self improvement, we find ourselves bamboozled when we are encouraged to LOVE ourselves. We are left scratching our heads as we face ourselves in the mirror.

Love myself, we wonder with a grimace. How do I begin to go about doing that?

Me being human, I find myself stumped in this department on occasion as well. So I called on my higher self and Pleiadian family for guidance. Together we came up with this rather long list of steps to self love. Many of these can be practiced side by side as you work your way through them. Some are tough and some are not so tough. Some may require professional assistance by that of a counselor, life coach, spiritualist or energetic healer, while others you can do on your own or with a trusted friend or the help of your higher self and spirit guides. Some may not apply to you at all.

These are very direct. No beating around the bush. If you feel angered or irritated by any of these steps, then you know you have issues you need to address, release and heal in these areas. Remember that your ego/mind is NOT you, but if it throws a fit on any of these, simply observe and take note of the issues that arise. Become and remain heart-centered as much as possible and remember who you TRULY are. Know that you are a wise, intelligent soul who has lived many lives. Allow your cellular memory to awaken as you read these steps. Pause to take notes on how each one makes you FEEL, and then note thoughts and judgments. Also remember that your personal reality is what you have created by what you have allowed yourself to think and believe.

Take a deep breath… hold… exhale; repeat. Once you feel heart-centered, begin reading.

Steps to Self Love

Drop addictions

You have been led to believe many untruths about addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, nicotine, or some other chemical substance, these are all toxins the physical body does not want or need. Addiction is all in the mind/ego, and it is a slow form of suicide. Therefore, feeding such addictions does not promote self love. In fact, addictions are a form of self loathing, which, again, is the work of the fearful ego that works so hard to keep you in low vibration. Change your thinking, and you can change your reality. Overcoming alcoholism or drug addiction will most likely require support of some kind. We recommend one-on-one counseling or coaching as opposed to group therapy because it will enable you to focus on YOU rather than others in the group.

Stop self-abuse

There are many forms of self-abuse (physical, mental, verbal). In addition to the mental and physical self-abuse of addictions, there is also self mutilation and a variety of eating disorders. There are also forms of sexual perversion and deviancy in this category that do not reflect lovingly on the self. Role-playing to create reenactments of sexual abuse combine the sacred sexual with fear-based energy. This is not healthy, nor is it recommended. Again, counseling may be required for these heavy hitters, and, again, we recommend one-on-one healing sessions versus group therapy.

Process pent-up fear-based emotions

Emotions are energy in motion. If left bottled inside of you, these fear-based emotions can fester into energetic dis-ease within the chakras that can manifest into physical disease within the body. Find healthy ways to process lower fear-based emotions, such as exercise, (kick-boxing anyone?) artistic expression, drumming, venting with a friend you trust to not judge you, journaling, pranic breathing, yoga… there are so many ways to engage a healthy purging process. Find what works best for you.

Learn about Chakras and how they are connected to you

Understand that these energy centers are your soul’s organs and that they require as much care and attention as your physical body. Energy cannot properly flow through you if your Chakras are closed or unbalanced. Without this proper flow, energy becomes stuck and forms blockages, which can lead to mental, emotional and physical disease.

Practice Pranic breathing and meditation

In order to raise your personal vibration, you need to find and live from your heart. To become heart centered, you must slow your response/reaction to the world around and stop allowing your personal vibration to lower based on what is happening in your world. The first step to controlling your personal vibration is breath work. Air/ether is brimming with creator (source) energy, and it is free for your taking, so indulge. SLOWLY indulge. Inhale slowly, hold as long as you can, exhale, and repeat. This process is the cure for anything that ails you. Oxygen calms, soothes, heals, and allows you to become one with yourself – your HIGHER, heart-centered self. Don’t save this breathing practice for meditation. Always be aware of your breathing, especially when you begin to feel anxious or agitated, for this is when you need to practice Pranic breathing the most.

Meditation is simply living in the NOW. If you’re thinking about the past or the future, then you are NOT in the NOW. Meditation does not require sitting cross legged with fingers in various positions with the thumb. Meditation = pure focus… on ANYthing that you are doing, whether that be cooking, gardening, crafting, playing with pets or kids, leisure activities, etc. Remember that it only counts if you are fully present during the activity, however, and in complete joy. The idea of meditation is to forget your troubles, fears, and anxieties. You will know that you have succeeded if time zipped past you while you were enjoying yourself in the now. And remember… there is ONLY NOW.

Exercise

Exercise is the best way to clear chakras. A brisk walk counts, so do not worry if you are not “in shape.” When you are feeling like things are “stuck” inside of you, take a good 20-minute brisk walk. Anything that gets the heart chakra pumping a little faster will help clear all the chakras. While meditation is the best time to be fully present, exercise is a good time to process the old junk and purge it. Walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, in-line skating… all these forms of exercise are great for processing because you’re just in “go mode.” Team sports can also help purge pent-up energy, but require focus on the now.

Gradually move into a healthier diet

Shifting from a heavy meat and potatoes diet to one that is full of fruits and vegetables isn’t going to happen overnight for anyone, and it’s not highly recommended, either. Slowly begin reducing meat and dairy intake while adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet. Keep the portions balanced at first, and gradually reduce the size of meat and dairy portions as you add more fruits and vegetables. Switch from heavier meat to more fish and poultry. Add protein-rich foods such as beans and Quinoa to your diet to replace meat when you are ready. As you reduce or halt your meat intake, you will notice that you feel lighter and brighter in spirit. Eating meat immensely lowers your vibration. You can test this out for yourself once you have cleaned up your diet and then have meat again. Take note of how you feel energetically and physically after eating it.

Stop drinking tap water

If you live in a country that adds fluoride to its tap water, don’t drink it or cook with it. Switch to spring water, distilled water or water that is filtered through reverse-osmosis. Filtering your tap water through charcoal filters will NOT strip out the fluoride. Only the reverse-osmosis or distillation process can remove fluoride from your drinking water. Flouride is poisonous, and it is added to your tap water NOT to help your teeth stay strong, but to keep you lethargic. It is clinically proven that fluoride leads to thyroid and stomach problems. It also calcifies your pineal gland. Drinking distilled water will help decalcify your pineal gland.

Eliminate mind or mood-altering and habit-forming pharmaceuticals

Your pharmaceutical companies claim to have a cure for your depression… anxiety… mental focus… sexual woes… and physical pain. Many of their “cures” contain narcotics that can become habit-forming or push you toward further mental issues that will actually make your problems worse, rather than better. They are also designed to keep you subservient and in low vibration. Some even cause thoughts of suicide and apathy. How low can you go? When you take these medications, you will soon find out. We recommend following and making a committed practice to these steps to self love before weaning yourself off of these medications. And, of course, if you are diagnosed with a mental illness, it is best to discuss the possibility of getting off your medications with your practitioner before doing so.

Monitor thoughts and tame the ego

Observe your judgments and criticisms of others, for these are the very things you do not like or fear about yourself, or perhaps things you don’t like about someone who has hurt you in the past. If you have a dislike or disdain for someone’s behavior and find yourself harshly chastising them for it, there are underlying issues within you that you need to address and release. If you find yourself saying things like “I can’t stand…” or “I hate…” then you have a major underlying issue to release. Why? Because you are allowing this issue to lower your vibration every time it arises. Let it go and clear it out. It is only bringing out the worst of your ego.

Cut off or limit all relationships that do not support your self-love

If people have a problem with you loving yourself or feeling confident, that is THEIR problem that they need to address with their own ego. Look for loving and supportive people who bring out the BEST in you. Leave the rest behind. If they truly matter, they will do their OWN work and catch up with you later, when the time is right. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and what is right for them may not be right for you. It is okay to let them explore their own path while you explore yours. If you are meant to be in each others’ lives down the road, you will be.

Forgive yourself and others

Forgiveness is the only way you can be well. Harboring anger or resentment, holding a grudge… these type of energies are keeping you down and could even be slowly killing you through the manifestation of disease into the physical body. Forgive yourself for allowing these energies to lower your vibration and stay stuck within you, and forgive those who have hurt you or angered you. Most likely these type of wounds occurred due to a contract or agreement with that other soul as a test of self mastery. Always remember that mastery is why you are here in the first place. What are you trying to master, exactly? Divine Will. Remember that Free Will is ego-based and mind-driven. Divine Will is heart-centered and higher-self focused. Your main objective in this “game” is to remember who you truly are in your heart and master the meanderings of the mind/ego. After all, your soul cannot evolve if you keep letting the thoughts of your ego control your life. Remember that your thoughts manifest into your personal reality. Watch your thoughts and let your heart lead with love and compassion.

Accept that life is much simpler than your ego is making it out to be

You are not meant to struggle or suffer. Many of you are making life out to be much harder than it really is by taking things far too personally, holding grudges, refusing to forgive and forget, and holding onto energy you are not meant to carry. Many of you are still allowing your egos to run roughshod over your lives instead of following your hearts into more peaceful ways of living. Whenever you find yourself struggling, feeling low or as if you are suffering in some way, check your ego, and then breathe and find your heart center. Remember that your thoughts are what control your reality. If you don’t like your situation, put your ego in check, raise your vibrations and change how you think, feel and look at your reality. You can see your current challenges as lessons and tools to help you create a new reality for yourself, or you can see them as obstacles and stay stuck where you are. It really is up to you. Your life and your reality is what you create through your thoughts, feelings and personal vibration.

Know that your personal vibration is controlled by YOU and you alone

YOU decide whether or not you are going to allow your vibration to dip or surge in reaction to the influence of others. Nothing anyone does controls you or your response or your moods. YOU do. If you are sad, it is no one’s “fault” but your own. If you are disappointed in someone, that is not THEIR fault… it is yours for choosing to allow yourself to feel disappointed. Understand now, right in this very moment as you read these words that YOU are much bigger, brighter and more intelligent than your ego. Make a pact with your higher self NOW that you will no longer allow your ego to ransack your thoughts, feelings or your life with its careless and nonsensical fodder that holds you down in fear, worry, sadness, and regret.

Choose to see and experience your personal reality and your world through love and compassion for yourself and your fellow inhabitants of your planet. Accept yourself as creators, and hold yourselves accountable for your personal vibration and everything that you create during your lifetime, for you are all contributors to the current state of your planet with every thought, idea, and feeling or emotion. This is why it is so important to love yourself NOW… and forever more.

Follow your hearts into joy and create something wonderful!

For additional reading and assistance in taking greater strides to self love, we recommend the books Path of Empowerment: Pleiadian Wisdom for a World in Chaos by Barbara Marciniak and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

© Jen Freer 2014| FreerSpirit.com | Pleiadian Message Series | All rights reserved by the author, Jen Freer, who gives permission for this blog to be shared far and wide as long as a citation is included that links back to the author’s website, FreerSpirit.com